Ian Clayton Gallagher (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sickoflivingalie) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2016-02-01 08:56 pm
sickoflivingalie) wrote in muserevival2016-02-01 08:56 pm
Entry tags:
115.1. Lyrics Prompt
"Maybe we were meant to be lonely, lonely
Maybe we were meant to be on our own
Loneliness has always been with me, with me
But maybe we don't have to be all alone."
• The Fighter, The Fray
SPOILERS: Shameless Season 6
8 YEARS ON: It was eight years since Ian last saw Mickey Milkovich. He had just seen his 27th birthday come and go, but that day, inside he was feeling like the same fucked up 19 year old he had been back then. The kid who had been feeling so numb and empty when the one thing that had a stab at making him happy was thrown in the slammer. He had already been losing his footing with life. Mickey had always been an anchor for him, a way out of the shit life he had been raised into. Then he was gone.
He had made Mickey an empty promise the last time he saw him. Mickey practically begged him for it, and Ian nearly choked on it because he knew he didn't mean it. He was on autopilot and barely managing to get out of bed each morning. He wasn't in pain. In fact, he felt nothing. His existence was monotone and the smallest sliver of hope he had that life might get better had been annihilated. He could see out of that dark haze of depression. What he knew now was that for the better part of a year, he had the wrong dose of his meds. For all the forcing the pills down his throat his family tried to do, they hadn't been enough anyway.
No, he hadn't waited for Mickey. He didn't even know back then what Mickey was asking him to wait for. Their relationship had already been in tatters and love wasn't enough. What a fucked up concept it was that love could save everything. Love couldn't save anything. Ian loved Mickey all along and his life had still crashed and burned. He still ended up with a mental illness, he still tried to clutch at straws going after his fucked up mother so he just didn't feel so alone anymore. He gave up on himself. It was easy by then to give up on Mickey too.
It was a fucking cold day and a light snow had been falling. Ian stood outside the jail's exit where the crims were spat back out into the real world with nothing a handful of belongings they had on them when they were thrown in prison to start with. Ian leaned back against a wall, cigarette going to his lips and the stream of exhaled smoke condensed with his breath when he blew it out sharply. A flick of the butt littered the snow with a grey ash. The hand that was nursing the cigarette was covered in tattoos; artwork that hadn't been there eight years prior.
He didn't know what he was doing here. He couldn't explain it to himself. A string of sleepness nights since he heard Mickey was, indeed, being released eight years into his fifteen year sentence, Ian gave up trying to reason it out. Ian had felt so lonely and isolated for so many years now that he wasn't sure he even knew anymore how to need anyone else. The Gallaghers would always be the Gallaghers, but he lived alone now. Maybe the most ironic thing of all of this was he had to change his regular day with Yevgeny, Mickey's son. Ian had Yev for two days a week while Svetlana worked doing... whatever Svetlana did that was probably extremely illegal and questionable that Ian stopped trying to keep up years ago. Whatever she did, she was damn good at it because she was now rolling in cash and drove a BMW. Yev was nearly ten years old and went to a private school. He called Ian 'Dad'. He called his real dad 'Dickhead'. Ian never corrected him. Part of him still felt like Mickey was a dickhead, and that part of things was Mickey's to repair with his son, not Ian's.
Across the alley, he saw the large doors of the prison being pushed open. His stomach felt like it suddenly lodged itself somewhere up in his throat, but outwardly, he was as cool as he always was. If there was one thing about Ian, it was that he never wore his heart on his sleeve. He didn't know what was going to happen next. He didn't know if anything from eight years ago could have survived through all he had been through. What he did know was that even if he hadn't kept his promise to Mickey, Mickey was still the only person in the world who made Ian feel like he wasn't alone.
• ian gallagher [ canon: shameless ]
mickey milkovich isandifuckingloveit, time jump is 8 years from end of Season 5
Maybe we were meant to be on our own
Loneliness has always been with me, with me
But maybe we don't have to be all alone."
• The Fighter, The Fray
SPOILERS: Shameless Season 6
8 YEARS ON: It was eight years since Ian last saw Mickey Milkovich. He had just seen his 27th birthday come and go, but that day, inside he was feeling like the same fucked up 19 year old he had been back then. The kid who had been feeling so numb and empty when the one thing that had a stab at making him happy was thrown in the slammer. He had already been losing his footing with life. Mickey had always been an anchor for him, a way out of the shit life he had been raised into. Then he was gone.
He had made Mickey an empty promise the last time he saw him. Mickey practically begged him for it, and Ian nearly choked on it because he knew he didn't mean it. He was on autopilot and barely managing to get out of bed each morning. He wasn't in pain. In fact, he felt nothing. His existence was monotone and the smallest sliver of hope he had that life might get better had been annihilated. He could see out of that dark haze of depression. What he knew now was that for the better part of a year, he had the wrong dose of his meds. For all the forcing the pills down his throat his family tried to do, they hadn't been enough anyway.
No, he hadn't waited for Mickey. He didn't even know back then what Mickey was asking him to wait for. Their relationship had already been in tatters and love wasn't enough. What a fucked up concept it was that love could save everything. Love couldn't save anything. Ian loved Mickey all along and his life had still crashed and burned. He still ended up with a mental illness, he still tried to clutch at straws going after his fucked up mother so he just didn't feel so alone anymore. He gave up on himself. It was easy by then to give up on Mickey too.
It was a fucking cold day and a light snow had been falling. Ian stood outside the jail's exit where the crims were spat back out into the real world with nothing a handful of belongings they had on them when they were thrown in prison to start with. Ian leaned back against a wall, cigarette going to his lips and the stream of exhaled smoke condensed with his breath when he blew it out sharply. A flick of the butt littered the snow with a grey ash. The hand that was nursing the cigarette was covered in tattoos; artwork that hadn't been there eight years prior.
He didn't know what he was doing here. He couldn't explain it to himself. A string of sleepness nights since he heard Mickey was, indeed, being released eight years into his fifteen year sentence, Ian gave up trying to reason it out. Ian had felt so lonely and isolated for so many years now that he wasn't sure he even knew anymore how to need anyone else. The Gallaghers would always be the Gallaghers, but he lived alone now. Maybe the most ironic thing of all of this was he had to change his regular day with Yevgeny, Mickey's son. Ian had Yev for two days a week while Svetlana worked doing... whatever Svetlana did that was probably extremely illegal and questionable that Ian stopped trying to keep up years ago. Whatever she did, she was damn good at it because she was now rolling in cash and drove a BMW. Yev was nearly ten years old and went to a private school. He called Ian 'Dad'. He called his real dad 'Dickhead'. Ian never corrected him. Part of him still felt like Mickey was a dickhead, and that part of things was Mickey's to repair with his son, not Ian's.
Across the alley, he saw the large doors of the prison being pushed open. His stomach felt like it suddenly lodged itself somewhere up in his throat, but outwardly, he was as cool as he always was. If there was one thing about Ian, it was that he never wore his heart on his sleeve. He didn't know what was going to happen next. He didn't know if anything from eight years ago could have survived through all he had been through. What he did know was that even if he hadn't kept his promise to Mickey, Mickey was still the only person in the world who made Ian feel like he wasn't alone.
• ian gallagher [ canon: shameless ]
mickey milkovich is
andifuckingloveit, time jump is 8 years from end of Season 5