Shelby Manning (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shelbycobra) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2016-12-17 08:46 pm
shelbycobra) wrote in muserevival2016-12-17 08:46 pm
Entry tags:
136.7.3 - misc/random
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I can do it.
I screwed up my schedule last month. When I got an offer to drive in the Race of Champions, for the first time that the event has ever been held in the United States, I said yes without really thinking about it. It was an honor to be invited and I didn't know if I'd ever have the chance again. But then I looked at my calendar this week and realized that the Race of Champions takes place just four days before the kickoff of the Rolex 24 at Daytona, which I have participated in for the last two years.
Two major races in four days is a lot of work. I'd have to compete in both days of the ROC and then drive the four hours north to Daytona and be ready to race a full day straight in the Rolex 24. And aside from the time commitment, which might be manageable, that's a lot of stress and physical strain to put on myself in a short period. At that point I have to ask if I wouldn't be pushing myself too far - or worse, spending so much effort on exhibition events that I'm starting at a disadvantage when the IndyCar season begins in March. IndyCar is my first priority and I don't want to run so hard elsewhere that I don't have enough left when it's time to get back to it.
Actually, no. My first priority is my boyfriend. I made a promise to him that I would not start jetting off to every available race like I did when I was single. And he keeps saying that I should do what I want to do, and that he won't stand in my way, but he shouldn't feel like he's ever in my way. So there's that to worry about too. If I re-up for the Rolex 24, I would likely have to head to Daytona after New Year's for the Roar Before The Rolex 24, which would take time away from us. Then I'd be in Florida for almost two weeks between the two races themselves. And after that, I'd have about six weeks before the season starts and then I'd be on the road for good. I don't feel like that's giving our relationship the best shot.
So I'm caught between a rock and a hard place and another hard place. I am flattered to be asked to participate in these high-profile events; there are so many racers that would love to have these opportunities, and I feel like I shouldn't turn them down because these doors don't open all the time. There's only going to be one debut Race of Champions in Miami. At the same time I love the chance to drive with Scott Dixon and Tony Kanaan and Jamie McMurray at the Rolex 24...plus, Tony is running the ROC too so I feel like if he can do both, I should be able to, right?
But I don't want to half-ass any of them. I don't want to let my team down in Daytona because I haven't had time to recover from running the ROC. Or come into the race shop already needing a break because I worked too much in my offseason.
And I don't want to short-change the man I love just as I've finally found him. I'm pretty sure running off for the better part of a month is not the way to say 'I love you.' Especially when with his job he's not in a position to come with me at all. If I want to spend time with him I have to be with him. That's the dilemma I've always knew would be in front of me: to put my family in front of my career. My dad did that 32 years ago and now it's time for me to make the same choice. I hope I make the best one.
Because there's no right answer here. No matter what option I choose I'm going to let someone down. That's a feeling I haven't felt in two years and I really don't like it.
--
Shelby Manning
Need For Speed OC
705 words
I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I can do it.
I screwed up my schedule last month. When I got an offer to drive in the Race of Champions, for the first time that the event has ever been held in the United States, I said yes without really thinking about it. It was an honor to be invited and I didn't know if I'd ever have the chance again. But then I looked at my calendar this week and realized that the Race of Champions takes place just four days before the kickoff of the Rolex 24 at Daytona, which I have participated in for the last two years.
Two major races in four days is a lot of work. I'd have to compete in both days of the ROC and then drive the four hours north to Daytona and be ready to race a full day straight in the Rolex 24. And aside from the time commitment, which might be manageable, that's a lot of stress and physical strain to put on myself in a short period. At that point I have to ask if I wouldn't be pushing myself too far - or worse, spending so much effort on exhibition events that I'm starting at a disadvantage when the IndyCar season begins in March. IndyCar is my first priority and I don't want to run so hard elsewhere that I don't have enough left when it's time to get back to it.
Actually, no. My first priority is my boyfriend. I made a promise to him that I would not start jetting off to every available race like I did when I was single. And he keeps saying that I should do what I want to do, and that he won't stand in my way, but he shouldn't feel like he's ever in my way. So there's that to worry about too. If I re-up for the Rolex 24, I would likely have to head to Daytona after New Year's for the Roar Before The Rolex 24, which would take time away from us. Then I'd be in Florida for almost two weeks between the two races themselves. And after that, I'd have about six weeks before the season starts and then I'd be on the road for good. I don't feel like that's giving our relationship the best shot.
So I'm caught between a rock and a hard place and another hard place. I am flattered to be asked to participate in these high-profile events; there are so many racers that would love to have these opportunities, and I feel like I shouldn't turn them down because these doors don't open all the time. There's only going to be one debut Race of Champions in Miami. At the same time I love the chance to drive with Scott Dixon and Tony Kanaan and Jamie McMurray at the Rolex 24...plus, Tony is running the ROC too so I feel like if he can do both, I should be able to, right?
But I don't want to half-ass any of them. I don't want to let my team down in Daytona because I haven't had time to recover from running the ROC. Or come into the race shop already needing a break because I worked too much in my offseason.
And I don't want to short-change the man I love just as I've finally found him. I'm pretty sure running off for the better part of a month is not the way to say 'I love you.' Especially when with his job he's not in a position to come with me at all. If I want to spend time with him I have to be with him. That's the dilemma I've always knew would be in front of me: to put my family in front of my career. My dad did that 32 years ago and now it's time for me to make the same choice. I hope I make the best one.
Because there's no right answer here. No matter what option I choose I'm going to let someone down. That's a feeling I haven't felt in two years and I really don't like it.
--
Shelby Manning
Need For Speed OC
705 words