Cole Carrington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
burninginside) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2014-03-30 12:26 pm
burninginside) wrote in muserevival2014-03-30 12:26 pm
Quote of the Day 062.
“The moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart.”
- Mahmoud El Hallab
Cole could honestly say that this time, he was getting a little more progress with his stay in the Addiction Unit. It was intense, but more medically focused to treat him physically with a side order of continual psychotherapy and medication regime. With appropriate medication, he was coping better with the therapy. It wasn't just a matter of throwing a few antidepressants and antianxiety meds at him and hoping they worked to cockblock is mind into knee-jerking him in all the wrong directions. It was being closely monitored, side effects being controlled conservatively, and it meant he was coping a lot better with the things he was - again - being dragged through in therapy.
But it was still really hard. Of course it was. He had been far too addicted, for far too long, with psychological illnesses that made his rehabilitation even harder. That was all before even factoring into it that the person he had fallen in love with had been in a terrible car accident caused by a drug addicted driver and had been unconscious since it happened. The few prior hopes that Emilio might be getting close to waking didn't eventuate into anything. He still remained unconscious and every further day that passed, his loved ones became more concerned that he was slipping away from them.
Cole visited Emilio in Intensive Care every day. At first, it felt impossible to see him like that. He found the balls to do it, and each day, maybe it got a little more easy, but it never stopped being hard. Emilio was still so beautiful. His family made sure he was so well taken care of with everything he couldn't do himself. He was shaven, hair always neat, fresh flowers. It was an intensive care room with all the typical machines, but for some reason, with the very personal touches that showed how much Emilio meant to his family, it felt more inviting than Cole's hospital room.
Today when Cole arrived at Emilio's room to visit it, everything was different. There was a flurry of activity, a doctor in there with a pile of nurses, along with Emilo's mother. Cole had no idea what was going on, but his stomach leapt up into his throat when, for a horrible few moments, he thought maybe Emilio had passed away. But when the staff dispersed and Emilo's mother soon exited the room and found Cole standing there gripping onto his IV pole, she came to him and put her hands on his upper arms with a teary smile. "He's awake, cariño. Go in, talk to him. He will need to hear your voice."
Cole just nodded mutely, his mouth hanging open slightly when he realised he wasn't prepared for this. But fuck that. It didn't matter if he wasn't prepared. Emilio was the only thing that mattered, and Cole would just have to suck it up and deal. Cole's mom gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance. He went into the room, and Emilio still seemed like he was asleep. He head was resting down on the pillow, dropped to the side a little. His gown and blankets were in a little bit of a disarray, probably from being poked, prodded and examined after regaining consciousness. Cole didn't know how long he had been awake for, though. Maybe it had been all night? He didn't know, and it didn't matter.
He sat down in the chair beside Emilio's bed and reached to cup his hands around Emilo's, which still felt cool to touch. "Em..." he said softly, tearing up when Emilio opened his eyes and looked towards him. "I-I missed you. You don't know how much I've missed you."
But a silence just reigned for moments that were far too long to be an average hesitation. When Emilio spoke, his voice was hoarse, scratchy, and only just audible. He would have had the breathing tubes removed once he awake, and now had nasal prongs for the oxygen. What he said, though, it managed to chill Cole right down to the bones. "Who are you?" was the question, but Emilio's fingers curled in through Cole's as he spoke and Cole was pretty sure an inner panic inside him ignited so quickly, he felt like he was going to throw up or pass out.
"Y-You don't... you don't..." Cole stammered, struggling to get the words out. Emilio had amnesia. He didn't remember him. This was one of the worst fears all along, second only to Emilio dying and not making it through. None of the doctors had been able to tell them how he could be when he woke up. Whether he would remember, whether he had any physical capacity, whether he lost functioning he might never get back. They had hoped and prayed (even without any religious orientation) that none of that would happen. That Emilio's recovery would be swift and with the least pain to him at all. "You don't r-remember who I am?" he finally asked hoarsely when his throat felt constricted, like someone was cutting off his air supply.
But, couple with some stray tears tracking down his cheeks, Emilio's next words would live with him forever. With Emilio's searching fingers through Cole's getting more desperate that his nails sunk into Cole's skin, finally, "No... I-I can't see you."
Cole Carrington
( original character )
arrecho used with permission and much love
- Mahmoud El Hallab
Cole could honestly say that this time, he was getting a little more progress with his stay in the Addiction Unit. It was intense, but more medically focused to treat him physically with a side order of continual psychotherapy and medication regime. With appropriate medication, he was coping better with the therapy. It wasn't just a matter of throwing a few antidepressants and antianxiety meds at him and hoping they worked to cockblock is mind into knee-jerking him in all the wrong directions. It was being closely monitored, side effects being controlled conservatively, and it meant he was coping a lot better with the things he was - again - being dragged through in therapy.
But it was still really hard. Of course it was. He had been far too addicted, for far too long, with psychological illnesses that made his rehabilitation even harder. That was all before even factoring into it that the person he had fallen in love with had been in a terrible car accident caused by a drug addicted driver and had been unconscious since it happened. The few prior hopes that Emilio might be getting close to waking didn't eventuate into anything. He still remained unconscious and every further day that passed, his loved ones became more concerned that he was slipping away from them.
Cole visited Emilio in Intensive Care every day. At first, it felt impossible to see him like that. He found the balls to do it, and each day, maybe it got a little more easy, but it never stopped being hard. Emilio was still so beautiful. His family made sure he was so well taken care of with everything he couldn't do himself. He was shaven, hair always neat, fresh flowers. It was an intensive care room with all the typical machines, but for some reason, with the very personal touches that showed how much Emilio meant to his family, it felt more inviting than Cole's hospital room.
Today when Cole arrived at Emilio's room to visit it, everything was different. There was a flurry of activity, a doctor in there with a pile of nurses, along with Emilo's mother. Cole had no idea what was going on, but his stomach leapt up into his throat when, for a horrible few moments, he thought maybe Emilio had passed away. But when the staff dispersed and Emilo's mother soon exited the room and found Cole standing there gripping onto his IV pole, she came to him and put her hands on his upper arms with a teary smile. "He's awake, cariño. Go in, talk to him. He will need to hear your voice."
Cole just nodded mutely, his mouth hanging open slightly when he realised he wasn't prepared for this. But fuck that. It didn't matter if he wasn't prepared. Emilio was the only thing that mattered, and Cole would just have to suck it up and deal. Cole's mom gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance. He went into the room, and Emilio still seemed like he was asleep. He head was resting down on the pillow, dropped to the side a little. His gown and blankets were in a little bit of a disarray, probably from being poked, prodded and examined after regaining consciousness. Cole didn't know how long he had been awake for, though. Maybe it had been all night? He didn't know, and it didn't matter.
He sat down in the chair beside Emilio's bed and reached to cup his hands around Emilo's, which still felt cool to touch. "Em..." he said softly, tearing up when Emilio opened his eyes and looked towards him. "I-I missed you. You don't know how much I've missed you."
But a silence just reigned for moments that were far too long to be an average hesitation. When Emilio spoke, his voice was hoarse, scratchy, and only just audible. He would have had the breathing tubes removed once he awake, and now had nasal prongs for the oxygen. What he said, though, it managed to chill Cole right down to the bones. "Who are you?" was the question, but Emilio's fingers curled in through Cole's as he spoke and Cole was pretty sure an inner panic inside him ignited so quickly, he felt like he was going to throw up or pass out.
"Y-You don't... you don't..." Cole stammered, struggling to get the words out. Emilio had amnesia. He didn't remember him. This was one of the worst fears all along, second only to Emilio dying and not making it through. None of the doctors had been able to tell them how he could be when he woke up. Whether he would remember, whether he had any physical capacity, whether he lost functioning he might never get back. They had hoped and prayed (even without any religious orientation) that none of that would happen. That Emilio's recovery would be swift and with the least pain to him at all. "You don't r-remember who I am?" he finally asked hoarsely when his throat felt constricted, like someone was cutting off his air supply.
But, couple with some stray tears tracking down his cheeks, Emilio's next words would live with him forever. With Emilio's searching fingers through Cole's getting more desperate that his nails sunk into Cole's skin, finally, "No... I-I can't see you."
( original character )
arrecho used with permission and much love