Going Back

It took a long time for me to believe that going to therapy wasn't evidence of how much of a failure I was. Failure as sister, a wife, a mother, a human. I thought I hated myself when I gave up my baby for adopted all those years ago, but this was worse. I didn't understand why I kept fucking up and hurting the people I love more than life itself. There is no life without any of them. So, why was I such a coward and ran away?

( Because running was easy. Running, I could control. Running wasn't killing my brother with cancer, killing my child to suicide, crippling my husband with an illness I couldn't spell, let alone understand... )

Gen Hart ♥
Original Character

"You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life." - Unknown

Angela had set herself a daily goal: to visit her son without crying and feeling like an attempted baby murderer. It was hard. Fear, doubt, guilt, hopelessness; they were all bottled up inside her and it felt like a losing battle. She didn’t understand why it was so hard for her to connect with her newborn son, but of course, she was now trying to sort through it with a therapist. Oh, how she didn’t envy a therapist’s job, working day in, day out, with people who believed they couldn’t get better or just plain chose not to because staying miserable was easier anything else. The fighters, the survivors, they didn’t get to have those badges of honour without a fight. Fighting is what she had to do, if she could somehow figure out how.

( The ordeal had left her broken and damaged, and it wasn’t for the first time in her life either... )

angela ashwood
- original character -

"You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life." - Unknown

There was never a time in Harry's career as a dancer did he want to quit, but all week, he wanted to give up. Rehearsal after rehearsal, class after class. Finals were upon then. Which was one thing in his busy schedule. He hadn't been remembering to eat, but lost his appetite anyway. On top of that, he had another lead in a production that he had been working so hard on that he had no time left for anything else. He went from class during the day to rehearsing during the evenings, and would come home and go straight to bed. He hadn't even remembered to shower some days.

( Then he stopped being able to sleep, because all the stress and anxiety seemed to build up as soon as he got into bed... )

harry matheson
- original character -

"Count your blessings, not your problems." - Unknown

Times like this, Lewis was grateful to have a large extended family. Lorenzo understandably held firm on wanting to stay at the hospital to see Clint as soon as he could, and also meet their new nephew. Richie was going to bring him home afterwards, so Lewis could finally take Holly home. She was exhausted and didn't want to be put down. It was late morning, but everyone had been up all night. He didn't care about the time, he needed to get their daughter down to sleep, whatever tactics he needed to enlist to manage it.

( Holly was clingy and upset. She cried again when they left the hospital once she realised her daddy wasn't coming with them... )

Lewis Sheldon ~ Original Character

"But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know."
• Hold On, Good Charlotte

Angela woke up in a Recovery Room with absolutely no idea what had happened. The pain was unbearable and she felt more ill than she thought she ever had in her life. It was chaotic. Too chaotic for her recently-sedated brain to be able to latch onto anything to get her bearings. Nurses, people in scrubs, were trying to talk to her, but the pain was attacking all her senses and she couldn't comprehend what they were saying. Could pain be so loud? She didn't know. She didn't know anything in that moment. All she could do was cry, and crying seemed to make it all worse. She passed out from the pain before anything they gave her to counteract it had a chance to work.

( The second time she woke, at least that she knew of, it was a polar opposite sensation... )

angela ashwood
- original character -

Ten things people falsely assume about you

(1) That I'm somehow a loser delinquent because I have tattoos
(2) That I should have some fucked up past or daddy/mummy issues because I have tattoos
(3) That I'm a drug addict because I have tattoos
(4) That if I'm in a rock band, I can't have had a normal upbringing
(5) That because I'm not the lead singer, I desperately want to be the lead singer
(6) That I don't really play the guitar and it's just a prop
(7) That rock is the only music I should like
(8) That I'm related to the Queen because I'm British
(9) That I've got a dick piercing
(10) That every performance is booze-fuelled

brant fox
( original chracter )

Therapy

Hunter could feel himself going through the grief process. No two people went through it the same way, and even though it was called a 'process', the stages could come at any time, in any order. He was going to need some sort of therapy for all this. He thought he had more strength because he was a counsellor himself, but you needed more than strength when the person you loved was in danger and had been hurt. He was barely keeping it together. And worse, he was on the opposite side of the country, hundreds of miles away from home.

( He had been up all night, angry that something like Coachella existed, and maybe Cruz could have dodged this horrific bullet of attempting suicide if the temptations hadn't been there right at his fingertips. It was misguided anger, though... )

hunter alexander | original character
( cruz appears here with love and permission )

"I've been standing in the rain
Drenched and soaked with pain
Tired of short time benefits
And being exposed to the elements
I'm homeward bound
Got my head turned around"
• Going Back to My Roots, Odyssey

After staring out the plane without without really taking in anything of the view of the fluffy clouds as far as the eye could see, Hunter closed his eyes when his jumble of thoughts converged in his head without relief. You couldn’t always lean on the luxury of rational reasoning when you were in emotional overload and your heart was far too involved to let the head rule. The empty seat beside him was taunting him, reminding him he was alone. He tried putting his flight bag there to fill the space, but it was no substitute for what - or who - he really wanted there.

( He didn’t know why he was feeling so winded and drained. He knew what the situation was, and how it could spiral out of control. He knew there was no guarantee everything would be static. He knew it wouldn't be an easy road... )

hunter alexander | original character
( cruz appears here with love and permission )

Ten things you've learnt about yourself recently

1. I'm not straight
2. I had an epic crush without realising it
3. Stage fright won't kill me, even if it feels like it
4. I have more resilience than I realised
5. I love Vegemite
6. I see or feel things sometimes that I can't explain
7. I have an irrational fear of crabs... the, uh, crustacean sort
8. I have fucking awesome taste in guys
9. I can help be someone's carer
10. I don't want to be a teacher, I want to be a nurse

sasha stanford ( oc )

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." - Audrey Hepburn

Amarlie had gone along to the jeweller with Justin when he was having Sasha's birthday designed from scratch. Like she wanted to miss that. She knew it wasn't an engagement ring or anything, but it was a significant gift for Justin to be giving to Sasha, his way of thanking him for loving him and showing him how much he appreciated that they were a team. This was her little brother doing something adorable, and she wanted to share that moment with him.

( While she was there, she found her own musings about how life had changed so much for her lately... )

Amarlie-Rose Satori {Original Character}

Picture: Cold Water
warning: triggering references
Cruz twisted the cold tap on in the shower to full and ignored the hot. He stepped in under the icy spray. It felt like a million needles piercing his skin but the shocked pain all over his body was exactly what he needed. Somehow, he had to block those overwhelming urges the cravings had sent him careening for. What the fuck kind of arsehole did he think he was letting himself believe he could replace booze and drugs with sex?

( You can't just fuck away the cravings! )

Cruz Quinlan
+ Original Character

Ten things you want to say to someone

1. Sorry you ended up with me as a fucking twin
2. I'd literally fucking die for you
3. I think you're the best father any fucking kid could have
4. I'm fucking proud of you for what you survived
5. I hate that we lost our whole fucking lives not knowing we're brothers
6. Please never have a fucking sex injury, because this twin sense thing fucking sucks
7. If you ever need a fucking kidney, I'm there
8. Sorry I couldn't protect you from the fucking shit that still harmed you
9. We're gonna be fucking okay. Promise.
10. I fucking love you, alright?

clint chevalier
original character

Ten ways you want to better yourself.

1. Find a romantic partner that I can trust completely, instead of wondering what else he never told me.
2. Get a fresh start in another department where people aren't always looking at me like I did something wrong.
3. Apologize to my mother and my grandfather.
4. Move all of the things I don't need out of my apartment and into storage.
5. Finally make Global Elite in Counter-Strike.
6. Consider talking to someone about everything I've been through.
7. Learn how to cook.
8. Get a new hobby to help with my nerves (other than cooking, which will probably just increase them).
9. Figure out what I'm going to do with that new bed I just bought.
10. Discover a way to make peace with my not knowing the truth.

Grace Hollingsworth / OC

Hiraeth (n): a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of the past.

Jesse never wanted to go back to his home town. He had vowed many a time that he wouldn’t after breaking free from the bible-bashing mess he had left behind. Since then, more secrets and lies had come to life to vastly prove that no matter how much a religious person preached from the rooftops of how pure and holy their faith was, they could still be just as sinful and downright deceitful as people who practiced no religion. Jesse had learned his mother had an affair, and as a result, the father he grew up with wasn’t his biological father. Instead, the man who gave him life had passed away from a sudden heart attack at a relatively young age, and Jesse discovered he had siblings he never knew about.

( That was why he was doing this. Merlin asked him to travel to South Carolina with him because he didn’t want to face this alone... )

Jesse Hartley // Original Character
- merlin larson hijacked with permission and love ♥

Ten moments in your life that shaped who you are today

1. Becoming a big brother
2. My best friend's suicide
3. Graduating and becoming a Clinical Nurse Specialist
4. Choosing the path of Youth Mental Health
5. My twin coming out to me (even if I already knew)
6. My twin's violent attack by one of his patients
7. Every single moment a patient thanks me for helping them
8. Some cunt abusing my little brother
9. Talking a suicidal person down off a ledge
10. Belatedly discovering I'm pansexual

hunter alexander | original character

"Who can explain it,
Who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons,
Wise men never try."

Today I'm packing up the last of Victor's things. The rest of his clothes, his comic books, his weight set. Putting everything he owned in labeled boxes that will sit in a storage unit for the next five to twenty years. Or whenever he gets out of prison. Five months ago we were living a life together; now we'll be lucky if we ever see each other again.

( The only thing I want in the world is to understand why he did what he did. )

Grace Hollingsworth / OC / 500 words

1) My little brother
2) Music
3) Meli
4) Zoran
5) Ange
6) My career as an attorney
7) Hopes for the future
8) My parents
9) Sex
10) Love

Ten things that frustrate you

1. Preggo. Hormones. 'Nuff said.
2. Dicks. Why the fuck can't you dudes leave them alone for 2 seconds?!
3. Doctors who never run on time.
4. Rude cab drivers. Like, fuck all of you off something tall.
5. No, I don't want you to touch my stomach if you're a stranger. Fuck off.
6. How hard is it not to get jelly or peanut butter in the butter?
7. Yes, I want all 2 dozen Krispy Kreme. Fuck off, I'm eating for 2.
8. Do I look like I want to have a chat with you through a bathroom stall wall?
9. Fuck off, Clitty, you can't play with my boobs. It's your fault they feel like great balls of fire.
10. Morning sickness is supposed to stop after 3 months, FFS!

angela ashwood
- original character -

Ten reasons to live

1 - Family first forever
2 - Being both a big sister and a little sister is awesome
3 - Working to save lives is the best job
4 - To see my baby brother "walk" up the aisle at his wedding
5 - Because Krispy Kreme exists
6 - Who else will punch assholes who hurt the people I love?
7 - I still have career goals
8 - I want to find love again, one that consumes me and excite me
9 - I want to see Wills as King
10 - I can't die until Game of Thrones finishes

Zelda Webster
Original Character

Ten wishes

1. To one day find my Soul Mate
2. That my partner in crime is gifted peace
3. That my main man falls in love so hard, his heart sings
4. That my ladies find happiness
5. That love truly wins
6. That LGBT+ people can enjoy as much PDA as they like without fear
7. That all artists with a creative soul learn to cherish their gift as their most important asset
8. That the world stops being so fucking miserable and remembers how to laugh sometimes
9. That the cockwaffles of the world get their heads lodged permanently up their asses and realise no one else's identity is their job to define
10. That kindness kills conflict

Melody Winters ~ Original Character

"They told you life is hard
It's misery from the start
It's dull and slow and painful
I tell you life is sweet
In spite of the misery
There's so much more
Be grateful."
• Life Is Sweet, Natalie Merchant

non-graphic sexual references
Hunter was lying on his stomach when wakefulness slowly trickled back to him. He became aware of a cosy warmth surrounding him and, soon, that he had an arm around him. His eyes battled opening and he blinked a few times once he pried them open a little. He wasn't in his own bed. The sheets were different, and the window was on the wrong side of the room. As soon as he got a little more consciousness, he found Cruz lying beside him, watching him. Cruz smiled softly. Hunter returned it sleepily.

( They were both naked between the sheets, and he could feel Cruz's thumb stroking tiny little circles somewhere near his shoulder blade... )

hunter alexander | original character

"Don't lose hope
Even though you can't see it I know
Things are getting better
Don't let go
We are here with you, you know
Everyone needs time
So don't lose hope."
• Don't Lose Hope, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Hunter woke early that morning with a pounding headache. It was still dark, so he grabbed his phone to use the torch, not wanting to bump into anything or trip over and break his neck. He found his way to the bathroom, and went inside before he switched the light on, closing the door over behind him but not shutting it fully. It was a completely unfamiliar bathroom, and he was naked. He went up to the sink, bracing his hands on the edge of it and stared blankly at himself in the mirror.

( The last thing he should be doing the morning after talking someone down from a twelfth storey ledge was waking up naked in a stranger's bed. In the cold sobering light of the morning, he felt the guilt begin to set in... )

hunter alexander | original character
( cruz appears here with love and permission )

Ten ways to brighten someone's day

1. Make them a cuppa
2. Ask them to pull your finger
3. Send them flowers
4. Post a funny quote on their Facebook
5. Remember to change the toilet roll
6. Give them a cuddle
7. Send them a goofy selfie
8. Remind them of an awesome memory you share
9. Watch their favourite movie with them
10. Build them a blanket fort (I'm plagiarising your awesome, Sash!)

Zeke Wyatt
- Original Character

"Amazing how manageable life can feel with only one blanket and the right two arms." - Tyler Knott Gregson

Caring for someone could take on many forms. It just so happened that doing laundry was one of them. Like many, Sasha wasn't exactly a fan of doing laundry, but his mom had given him a Mom Talk before he came to stay with Justin and his dad about being a guest boarding with someone else and ensuring he pulled his weight with things like chores, cooking, and laundry. Typically, he was a messy teenager. This wasn't a typical situation, and he wanted to prove he could be mature and responsible here. That was the territory the needed proving right now, with him trying to step up and show he could take care of Justin when he was sick. Or even when he wasn't. Just in general. It was the little things. That was what mattered.

( Justin had an appointment with his psychiatrist, so his dad took him along to that. Sasha got busy doing all their laundry, unstacking the dishwasher, and changing the bed clothes on Justin's bed. Then he sort of felt a bit lost, worrying how Justin was getting on... )

sasha stanford ( oc )

"A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves – a special kind of double." - Unknown

Life was full of difficult choices. For Amarlie, she had been putting off making this one in particular, hoping her gut instinct might be proven wrong. Once it was made, though, she knew she couldn't cope with it any other way but to just do it and not talk herself out of it. She knew if she had to say goodbye to Justin, it would tear her apart. She didn't want to say goodbye. It was why she just bought the one-way plane ticket, packed, and got in a cab to go to the airport alone.

( But her brother was headstrong. Not because he was stubborn, but because he was determined. When he felt something, he felt it with passion. Apparently letting Amarlie go home without seeing her was one of those things... )

Amarlie-Rose Satori {Original Character}

"A well-spent day brings happy sleep."
- Leonardo da Vinci

Usually, Justin wasn't a fan of those 'tired but not sleepy' moments. They had a tendency to tip him into the danger zone of overtiredness, which was never a good place for him to be. That night, it didn't feel like a danger zone. It had been a big day, but not really exhausting, surprisingly. Started with a medical appointment, and then a date with the person he felt like he would never tire of spending time with. It was a go big or go home day. Three-part date, starting with the aquarium, a fun yet hilarious stop at Build-a-Bear, dinner, and the Broadway show with VIP tickets.

( When they got home, tiredness was kicking in... )

Justin Campbell
Original Character

"I hear loves songs playing on the radio
People slow dancing everywhere I go
Well I'm a good slow dancer but you'd never know
Cause everybody's got somebody but me
Yeah they do."
• Everybody's Got Somebody But Me, Hunter Hayes

When Sam woke, he was groggy and disoriented from having been in a deep sleep. When he shifted to automatically reach to turn his clock towards him, he realised someone was beside him on the bed, and they were holding his hand gently against his chest. He started, not expecting company in his bed. It had been awhile since he woke up with anyone beside him. He squinted through the sleepy haze, taking in Lisa lying there beside him, sleeping. Her other hand was resting on his stomach. She was still fully clothed in the the outfit she arrived in to check on him the day before when he hadn't been well.

( He couldn't stop a heavy sigh escaping him... )

Dr. Sam Campbell
Original Character

"Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life."
- Anne Roiphe

It had been an awful way to end an otherwise amazing holiday in London. But as the dust settled in the aftermath, Sasha knew that this was just how it could be sometimes in falling in love with Justin. It had been hard, and it had been even more terrifying, but he knew what he had signed up for because Justin had given him nothing but complete disclosure. His family followed up with even more disclosure and engaged Sasha in open conversation about Justin's illness. Especially Mr Campbell. Even if all this had been hard, Sasha didn't feel blindsided.

( Just tired. So incredibly tired and wiped out. The busy holiday, the long flight, and then the mess at the airport drained every last residual drop of energy he had. He was just shellshocked... )

sasha stanford ( oc )

Ten things you consider your aesthetic

1. Fast cars
2. Stunt driving
3. Moody bars
4. Nice asses
5. Foggy open roads
6. Tattoos
7. Warm Krispy Kreme
8. Chocolate body paint
9. Leather pants
10. Loud music and steering wheel drumming

@ simon sinclair ( original chracter )

"The pain started years ago, but I’d lived with it for so long at that point that I’d accepted it as an inevitable part of me."
- Ashley D. Wallis

Lorenzo sat up long after Clint and Lincoln went home. As numb as everyone was, sitting there in awkward silence together trying to process it wouldn't do anyone any good. Lorenzo asked for time to get his head around it, Clint said he just either wanted to fucking sleep for a week or get trashed. Lorenzo got why he felt that. He wasn't offended. It wasn't the secret eliciting these emotions, it was how it all went down. It was the betrayal. On top of that, Clint had to process the fact he was the 'ditched one' because he had been a sick baby.

( After they left, Lorenzo just sat there in the dark thinking... )

lorenzo chivalier
- original character -

"There are no secrets that time does not reveal."
- Jean Racine

If there was one thing Clint disliked in this world, it was situations that forced him to overthink how he was feeling. Usually he was just an act first, deal with the consequences later kind of dude. That got him into trouble plenty of times in his life, but Clint got off on trouble. That was no secret. It was why he had chucked in being a cop. He liked the thrill of flirting with danger, but didn't like being bound by the rules. Instead, he used what he learned to open his own Private Investigations business. It became lucrative because there was little (or anything) he wouldn't do in the name of solving a case. Did he take the law into his own hands? Fuck yes, he did. He wouldn't stop either.

Still, his professional life was the easy bit. It was his bread and butter and what he did like water off a duck's back. Personal, however, was another story. Generally, his personal life involved fucking a lot, doing shit he probably shouldn't but not giving a fuck about it, and protecting the people he loved. Much more recently, he had to face his demons head-on when his husband was stabbed on the catwalk of a fashion show with an attempt to murder him. Right in front of Clint, who had been sitting in the audience.

( It was an act of revenge, for an extremely complicated case Clint got in too deep in. He didn't regret it either... )

clint chevalier
original character

Lugubrious
adj. 1. Mournful, dismal, or gloomy, especially in an affected, exaggerated, or unrelieved manner

The one thing any parent worthy of the title in this world never wanted was their children to be hurting. From the moment they're born, you try to do everything in your power to prevent that. One of the hardest lessons you need to learn as a parent, in the very early days, is that you can't always prevent it. Walker had raised his daughter as a single father, and sacrificed many things to ensure she never wanted or needed for anything. He was determined to still give her the love of both parents, even if his partner passed away from testicular cancer when Reecy was only an infant. From there on, he vowed his life was for her.

This led to him becoming a mature-aged student at Med School. It had always been a dream of his, but it never quite got there when he was younger. It was one way he could provide for his daughter, and he did the hard yards. The very hard yards. Some days, he didn't even know how he made it through. Like every parent, he had those days where it felt like he was failing everything. Like he would never be able to make it through, and everything he did was wrong. That was just all part and parcel.

( Today, it had been one of his hardest days of being a father... )

Walker Chester
( Original Character )

Portent
n. 1. A sign or warning that something significant is likely to happen; “an occurrence of crucial portent.”

The night before, after the show, Reecy ended up stumbling off the stage double-over in pain. It should have been a warning sign, but it had passed as quickly as it hit. Although she had to miss the Stage Door meet-and-greets, she thought she had just eaten something that didn't agree with her. It wasn't there long enough to have panicked. Getting home, she could only pool enough energy to shower and go to bed. She wasn't feeling the best, and felt like she was coming down with something. The weather had been up and down. That would make sense.

( Nothing could have prepared her for what happened... )

Reecy Chester
{ Original Character }

Autolatry
n. 1. The worship of oneself.

The one thing about being a trained health professional was that if an emergency happened, it was impossible not to step in and help, no matter how much you were off the clock. The Masquerade Ball night at the club had been a complete cock-fest. Not knowing who was behind the masks was all fun and games until you actually wanted to know to get their number off them, but before you finished getting the best BJ you had in your life, there was an emergency situation. Not only did the BJ get a climax, but Darius didn't get Mystery Man's number either.

Fuck it.

( No amount of self-care, self-help, or self-worship - in the shower, in his bed, in the bath - had been able to make up for the unfulfilled orgasm he really wanted to have that night... )

Darius Alexander // OC

"A real friend steps in when the rest of the world steps out."
- Unknown

Paxton did something he hadn't done in ages - called in sick to work. He wasn't quite sure what the process was if a model was out sick, but he had more important things to worry about. When he went to visit Trent, he lost complete track of time. It had been a nice and relaxing evening. They talked, a lot, about many things, and it was easy to forget about the world beyond those walls for just a little while.

( What he didn't plan on, was falling asleep beside Trent on his bed, and not waking up until late morning the next day. He woke up to countless missed calls and texts, so many that he knew just looking at his screen that something had happened... )

Paxton Carlyle
Original Character

Ten things you wish you had done

1 ~ Found my mom sooner
2 ~ Been a bit more tactful when I first met Justin
3 ~ Said no to the cockwaffle I gave my virginity to
4 ~ Punched a certain ex of my brother's to see how he liked it
5 ~ Worried less about fitting in
6 ~ Not procrastinated about finding my other family
7 ~ Not chickened out on skydiving
8 ~ Not gotten so angry when I found out I was adopted
9 ~ Given more, it doesn't matter what
10 ~ Not doubt my talents

Amarlie-Rose Satori {Original Character}

Ten things you think about lying awake at night

1. Got drunk and had a threesome with my girl and another guy (wtf?)
2. Hoping no one takes advantage of my brothers
3. That Brodes never forgets to wrap
4. Missing my best pal
5. My patients, hoping they survive
6. Wishing there was a cure for mental illness
7. Wondering where I want my life to head
8. Will the next Twin Peaks really be as fucked up as the first?
9. Hoping I never lose someone else I love in a horrible way
10. I think I need a holiday


hunter alexander | original character

Portent
n. 1. A sign or warning that something significant is likely to happen; “an occurrence of crucial portent.”

Euan sat, and he waited. Just like countless days before this. If he couldn't be there to sit, and wait, he made sure someone else wasn't very far away. The interior of this hospital and this ICU room had become like a second home to him, even more so than his office at work. Life went on, day in, day out. Euan still worked, now elevated to Captain. He still had his fingers in countless pies, and saw horrific things in his line of work. His past forever haunted him, but these days, he saw it as a foundation of fuck-ups upon which to build a better life.

This life, he wasn't just a cop. He was a father, a husband, a son, a grandson, a brother, an uncle, a friend. He cherished every single one with each breath he was gifted with inhaling. Fuck knew, he didn't deserve any of it. Not really. He should have been dead and buried long ago. It was impossible for him not to think of this as Karma somehow coming back to get him for all the cuntish things he did. It didn't matter if he wasn't the same person anymore. Nothing erased your past.

( Noah was like a son to him. Not young enough to be his biologically, but Euan always felt way more old than his years... )

Euan Fitzpatrick (Original Character)

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." - Richard Bach

One thing Mark usually wasn't was oblivious. Well, he was a typical man, so he had his moments. He didn't know the bloody difference between Maybelline and Clinique, or why the hell a push-up bra was needed when a woman had natural beautiful breasts with her own anatomy. He just wanted to play with them, end of story. That night, he definitely had an oblivious moment... or maybe it was more his son lulling him into a false sense of security here.

Music was Justin's life. He sang, he performed. It was what he did. It didn't matter if it was in a professional setting or not. More often than not, he was be doing something with music. The Karaoke evening at their hotel seemed right up his alley, but Mark never assumed is kid would want to sing by default. Sometimes Justin would be all over the mic like a rash, and it was game-on for anyone trying to get it off him. But this trip, Mark had witnessed Justin mostly laying back, with his priority definitely being focusing on time with Sasha.

( Then Amarlie pulled the big sister card, and it was cute... )

MARK CAMPBELL // Original Character

"Tell me, I guess that cupid was in disguise
The day you walked in and changed my life
I think it's amazing,
The way that love can set you free
So now I walk in the midday sun
I never thought that my saviour would come
I think it's amazing
I think you're amazing."
• Amazing, George Michael

This was a day Sasha would never forget. He had assumed that in coming on this trip to London with Justin and his family, that everything they did would be as a group. That had been fine with him, he had just been excited as all shit to be invited along. He and Justin still had time together when they were with his family. They had never once made Sasha feel like he wasn't welcome. There was only one person who made him feel like that, but that story didn't have a place on this trip.

Not that day. That day, they decided they wanted some time alone together, so Amarlie and Justin's mom jumped on the chance to hit London's shopping district and Mr Campbell arrange to catch up with an old college mate who was also a lawyer here in London. It worked out really well. The first stop had been Paddington Station. Sasha would be lying if he said he hadn't been excited about dropping by there. He had grown up on Paddington Bear, which was a special connection between him and his grandmother, who had been born in England.

( Justin had done so many amazing things for Sasha since they met, that he wanted to do something special for him... )

sasha stanford ( oc )
justin's words are all his own

Autolatry
n. 1. The worship of oneself.

There was a surreal undertone of energy that had washed over Spencer that night. Normally, on a night like this, he would be in a gay club, dancing, getting high, getting groped, grinded, sucked, humped, and fucked. In whatever order that happened to come in. Just a week prior, he was given an invitation to this: an LGBT+ Masquerade Ball, that was basically just another night in a gay club, with masks. Or so he thought.

( The thrill of the chase is what got him hard just thinking about. Not being able to see their faces, not knowing who they were... )

spencer marcus
( oc )

Ten things you want to achieve in 2017

1 - To survive Kiss a Ginger Day without bruises this year
2 - To hopefully succeed with my modelling career
3 - To come to like New York
4 - Try to tackle homesickness for London without wanting to run home
5 - Maybe meet someone special and fall in love
6 - Inject some time into a charity
7 - Never forget to keep in touch with my family back home
8 - More quality time with my BFF
9 - Not get a big head doing the job I do
10 - Make more friends here in New York

Paxton Carlyle
Original Character

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou

For all the hangovers Kip had experienced, he felt like he was never going to get used to this awful woozy sensation like his head was being sat on when he came-to after a seizure. He had a complete meltdown in the doctor’s office the day before, not having coped well with the news of the diagnosis. It felt like everything was bullshit, because all of a sudden he was supposed to be having these frequent seizures, when he was pretty sure he maybe only had one before, and he didn’t even believe it was that.

( He was being a prized asshole, to say the least. It wasn’t intentional, it was just difficult to avoid because he was sick, scared, and freaking out having all this land on him suddenly. And why? Because he had been a drug user in his teens... )

+ KIP PRYOR (oc)

Ten things you want to achieve in 2017

1. A better relationship with my daughter
2. A better relationship with my son
3. Being there for my brother through his fight with (and victory over) cancer
4. Remarrying my husband
5. Seeing my dad with his grandkids
6. Higher readership that ever at FABULOUS
7. Multiple orgasms on a more regular basis again, like what I got as a welcome to London, thanks to my gorgeous husband, Mark
8. More moments of enjoying the small things.
9. More charity involvement through the magazine, and privately.
10. Smile more.

Ten unexpected moments

1. Meeting my new boyfriend
2. Finding out I had another sister
3. Getting a lead role by accident
4. Winning a Tony Award
5. Surprise 17th birthday party
6. Getting one of the best dads in the world
7. Having a mom who wanted to adopt me
8. Seeing how much people want to help once they know they can make a difference
9. Realising I've been trying to do a Bucket List
10. Pretty much every time I come back around still alive after a... thing

Justin Campbell
Original Character

"Drugs made me feel more normal." - Carrie Fisher

Kip had spent about the last week, give or take, wanting to be dead. He was convinced death had to be easier than the nightmare he was trying to keep living through. Worst part of all, he knew he had no one to blame but himself. He was the dickhead who got hooked on drugs and booze too young - or at all - and he was the one who had done nothing up to this point to try to get help. Even now, it was less about actively getting help and more having no choice but to take it.

( Detox was hell. It was living, breathing hell on earth... )

+ KIP PRYOR (oc)

Ten things you want to achieve in 2017

1 ~ Get to know my new family
2 ~ Hopefully not freak them out anymore
3 ~ Have some sort of... something with my biological mom
4 ~ Figure out if I want to take the early entry offer to design school
5 ~ Make up for lost time with my brother with annoying big sister moments
6 ~ Design for another charity fashion show
7 ~ Figure out who I am
8 ~ Work on honing my signature style
9 ~ Blog more
10 ~ Work on my YouTube channel

Amarlie-Rose Satori {Original Character}

"It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long
It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all."
• Amnesia, 5 Seconds of Summer

One of the upsides -- or maybe downsides -- to being legally an adult was that Will's parents felt a lot more comfortable leaving him home alone these days. He was okay with it, to be sure, considering that, after his breakup with Justin, he really just mostly wanted to be alone. He did appreciate the kindness of friends reaching out to him -- especially Layla and Cassidy. But that didn't take away the pain of loss and heartbreak. It didn't take away how much he missed Justin... how much he longed to just take a nap with Justin beside him.

( TW: Underage alcohol use )


Will Jackson||Original Character

"Startin' right now I'm startin' all over
Doin' what I should do
Should this be my last, or I've got a hundred years
From this day on I'm gonna live my life
Like I got one day left to live."
• One Day Left to Live, Sammy Kershaw

It was no secret that Flynn's life had nearly been taken by cancer. It was no secret that ever since then, his attitude had been living in the moment, because you were never guaranteed a tomorrow. Since going into remission, he had become a high profile, high class hooker and a self-made millionaire. However, not once in his plans did owning a nightclub factor in. The only reason that was currently on his book of assets was because he hadn't wanted Cole to lose everything when he crashed and burned, sinking beyond rock-bottom, and then some.

Cole had been one of Flynn's closest friends for a long time, but he was a severe addict. For awhile, owning the nightclub was like Disneyland for an addict. He could control drug deals right under his nose, and have his fingers in his pick of drug pies. The club was an incredible success, there was no doubt about that. But it had proven to be one of Cole's biggest downfalls when the addiction got so bad, he went bankrupt and nearly lost it. That was when Flynn had stepped up and purchased it, though he always only saw it as babysitting it until Cole got cleaned up and could take control of it again. The only question was, with Cole having severe PTSD from his time in them military, his suicide attempts had exacerbated. Not only was there no guarantee Cole would get clean, but there was no guarantee he would live.

( Still, Flynn did what he had to... )

flynn hunter
[ original character ]
cole + jett used with permission

"It's hard to really compare new love and old love." - Hugh Heffner

Justin had woken early that morning, and had carefully gotten up so he didn't wake Sasha. It took a lot for Sasha to finally fall asleep after the trauma of Andi passing away, the last thing Justin wanted to do was disrupt him now he was. He needed his medication, and although he wasn't at all fond of administering his own injections, he didn't prolong the inevitable. The hesitation left him with a red mark on his thigh that would inevitably bruise. The pen was easy to use, but he still hated it. The quicker he got it over with, the better.

The short walk he took was for some fresh air and trying to clear his head. Sasha and his parents didn't live right in Boston city. It was the suburbs area, but Justin didn't know one part of Boston from the other. It was pretty, though he didn't go far. He knew there were shops nearby because Sasha had spoken about walking his dad down there in the wheelchair for ice cream. It was freezing. Justin felt the cold, so he had borrowed an extra sweat, a scarf, some gloves, and a hat from Sasha's closet. He knew his new boyfriend wouldn't mind.

( A lot was on his mind as he walked, hands in his pockets and Apple Music playing through his earbuds from his phone... )

Justin Campbell
Original Character