144.5. Ten Things

[privateinvestigations]

Ten things you want to say to someone

1. Sorry you ended up with me as a fucking twin
2. I'd literally fucking die for you
3. I think you're the best father any fucking kid could have
4. I'm fucking proud of you for what you survived
5. I hate that we lost our whole fucking lives not knowing we're brothers
6. Please never have a fucking sex injury, because this twin sense thing fucking sucks
7. If you ever need a fucking kidney, I'm there
8. Sorry I couldn't protect you from the fucking shit that still harmed you
9. We're gonna be fucking okay. Promise.
10. I fucking love you, alright?

clint chevalier
original character

Comments

[americanskin]

You fucking marshmallow. Now I'm crying, you bitch.

[privateinvestigations]

You cry when it fucking rains, ffs.

[americanskin]

Those were tears of frustration because I wanted to punch you in the dick, and you weren't there.

[lovesguinness]

Sounds like ya' priorities are shiftin', mate.

[privateinvestigations]

My priorities have shifted so fucking much, they've had a fucking sex change.

[lovesguinness]

Aye, ya' wait 'til y'a hold ya' first bairn in ya' arms. Ya' ain't got no clue 'bout priorities shiftin' 'til then, mate.

[imtoofabulous]

If you're drunk, I'm kicking your fucking arse.

[privateinvestigations]

How about you pound it instead?

[imtoofabulous]

I am not opposed to both. But if you have been drinking more than the doctor's orders limit, you're not coming near my fucking arse for a decade.

[nothingelsematters]

Wherever you have the real Clint Chevalier locked up, throw him a few giant dildos and some good porn, will you?

[privateinvestigations]

Fuck you, bitch. I'm trying to be deep and meaningful and shit.

[nothingelsematters]

Yeah, well, don't do it too much. If you turn into a simpering twonk, I'm telling everyone you're my fucking toilet cleaner, not my twin. But I've got something I want to ask you about.

[privateinvestigations]

I'm not fucking sitting the princess. She screamed the fucking place down last time I tried.

[nothingelsematters]

Not that. Stop your bitching. She has her shit days just like you do. You think your kid won't scream?

[privateinvestigations]

No, but I have three other suckers to hand him off to when he does. What the fuck is it then?

[nothingelsematters]

Spoken like a true bastard. What are you doing about the birthday thing?

[privateinvestigations]

What birthday thing? Ain't it obvious?

[nothingelsematters]

Whether you're going to keep the birthday you've always known? No, it's not fucking obvious. I'm not a mind reader.

[privateinvestigations]

Fuck the birthday I've always known. It's nothing. It's some random date a cunt pulled out of her ass. We do it the right way. June 14. Alright?

[nothingelsematters]

I'm glad you want that. I was hoping you would.