142.5. Ten Things

[americanskin]

Ten things that frustrate you

1. Preggo. Hormones. 'Nuff said.
2. Dicks. Why the fuck can't you dudes leave them alone for 2 seconds?!
3. Doctors who never run on time.
4. Rude cab drivers. Like, fuck all of you off something tall.
5. No, I don't want you to touch my stomach if you're a stranger. Fuck off.
6. How hard is it not to get jelly or peanut butter in the butter?
7. Yes, I want all 2 dozen Krispy Kreme. Fuck off, I'm eating for 2.
8. Do I look like I want to have a chat with you through a bathroom stall wall?
9. Fuck off, Clitty, you can't play with my boobs. It's your fault they feel like great balls of fire.
10. Morning sickness is supposed to stop after 3 months, FFS!

angela ashwood
- original character -

Comments

[privateinvestigations]

Jesus fucking Christ, I ain't even in the same fucking state and I'm getting your preggo tits in a twist. In saying that, my cock's big enough it could probably breach state lines.

[americanskin]

Alright, Cockspector Gadget. Calm down.

[thelawofrhythm]

Awwww, man... I'll bring you Krispy Kreme, babe. Cuz I love you and I want to get on the preggo lady's good side. :P

[americanskin]

You don't have a dick. You can stay.

[thelawofrhythm]

Well... I do, but it's in a drawer in my bedside table. :P But donuts I can do. And I can also come over and give 3 way girls only cuddles. <3

[americanskin]

That works. The boys are still in NOLA.

[thelawofrhythm]

I do love a good boy free zone from time to time. How's the Mrs?

[americanskin]

Me too. It's called my vagina right now. She's doing good.

[thelawofrhythm]

Until you're pushing a boy out of it? :P Good. I'm glad. I'll bring extra donuts for her, too. And hot cocoa? Tea? Chick flick DVDs? Action movie DVDs? :P

[americanskin]

A boy with Clitty's genes. Satan help us all. But as he keeps rightly reminded me when I'm in my biggest moods, we chose it. And he's already too cute for his own good. Yes please, all of the above. Thank. My worry levels are spiraling out of control.

[thelawofrhythm]

OMG, he's already a little cutie! I'll bring a bunch of stuff over. It's been too long since a good girls only snuggle fest.

[americanskin]

Clitty finally stopped calling him 'it' or 'sprog' when he saw these. I thought we had a better chance of him curing cancer than thinking of himself as a dad. It has! This is because all the dick around us keep getting into the shit. Granted, this time, not Clitty's fault.

[thelawofrhythm]

Does he have a name yet? Is he really thinking of himself that way now? It's true. They can't help it. I think dicks are bad luck.

[americanskin]

Nope. Clitty told us we're not allowed to choose names while we're being emotionally hormonal lesbians because his kid will end up with a name like Rock or Jagger or something. He actually said "my son". I nearly peed my pants. I can't quit them, damnit!

[thelawofrhythm]

LOL! Daddy's already defending his baby against being the joke on the playground. OMFG, I can't believe Clitty's calling the baby his son. O_O Right? They're so wonderful and so dangerous all at the same time.

[americanskin]

Once Clitty claims you as one of his, he'll forever die for you. Which also means if a rugrat with his blood is coming, everyone else who doesn't protect him will die also. It's so weird hearing him say it. I'm seriously the worst kind of horny. It's not even funny.