Emily Michelle Cole (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emilywhereverimayfindher) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2015-10-20 01:57 pm
emilywhereverimayfindher) wrote in muserevival2015-10-20 01:57 pm
Entry tags:
105.1 Lyrics
"I know it's more than I deserve
Chances are I'll make it worse,
But I need to
Tell you
Tell you that I'm sorry,
Tell you that I'm stupid,
Why do I always take it there?"
• The Only One, James Blunt
If there was one thing on earth that drove Emily absolutely bat shit insane, it was when Clint was right and she was wrong. She liked to think it didn’t happen too often, though her darling husband would protest that with every fiber of his being, and at the root of it, he wouldn’t be wrong on that, either. Clint was, for all his annoying bits, incredibly smart and he did have a good heart. Being a manwhore didn’t change that side of him in the slightest. He was there for the people that he loved, and he would do whatever he needed to do to ensure that they were safe and cared for… even if that meant that one person he loved was getting a firm talking to because she’d hurt another person on that list. Emily wouldn’t deny him that. It was a fundamental part of him.
And he was right. She had stepped out of line completely with Ange. The other woman had fit right into the mold of everything that Emily could’ve ever asked for in a partner. She was smart, sassy, funny, brave, and stronger than anyone Emily knew. She had literally saved Emily’s life, taking out the bastard who’d been trying to kill her, and it was something that Emily would never forget or take for granted. Only she had taken Ange for granted, and maybe that was the whole problem here. Ange was an amazing person, and she wanted and deserved to be loved and cared for as the beautiful and amazing person that she was. They were surrounded by people in relationships who were getting it right in their own way… not necessarily the most traditional of ways, what with Jude and Reecy and Renz and Lew both being open to Jude sleeping with Renz and Lewis, and Emily and Clint being married, while Clint dated her brother Linc. Nothing had to be traditional with them. They just needed the mutual respect to make it work. And that was something Emily had never been lacking, so why the fuck had she fucked all of this up so badly?
Clint was right. If she couldn’t show Ange the same respect, kindness, and understanding that she’d been shown by her, she didn’t deserve it in return. Emily was capable of it. She’d had relationships before. Really sweet ones, that she treasured the memories of. She couldn’t just pretend that she didn’t know how to have a workable relationship. She did. It had been a long time, but she still knew how. She had just gotten lost in the shuffle and let her relationship with Ange fail to be the priority it should’ve been when everything else was hard. That was the problem. Everything was hard, and what you needed most when things were hard was the love of the people who mattered most. Angela should’ve felt like one of those people when she was with Emily. She should’ve felt wanted and needed and treasured… not like an afterthought.
Emily wouldn’t even remember what brought it on later, but she was soon finding herself sitting at the desk she and Clint shared, with a piece of paper and a ball point pen as the tears spilled over from her eyes and after a moment, the first line held only two words… “Dear Ange…” They were just two words, but they were a start, and as the tears spilled from her eyes, so did the words from her heart.
Chances are I'll make it worse,
But I need to
Tell you
Tell you that I'm sorry,
Tell you that I'm stupid,
Why do I always take it there?"
• The Only One, James Blunt
If there was one thing on earth that drove Emily absolutely bat shit insane, it was when Clint was right and she was wrong. She liked to think it didn’t happen too often, though her darling husband would protest that with every fiber of his being, and at the root of it, he wouldn’t be wrong on that, either. Clint was, for all his annoying bits, incredibly smart and he did have a good heart. Being a manwhore didn’t change that side of him in the slightest. He was there for the people that he loved, and he would do whatever he needed to do to ensure that they were safe and cared for… even if that meant that one person he loved was getting a firm talking to because she’d hurt another person on that list. Emily wouldn’t deny him that. It was a fundamental part of him.
And he was right. She had stepped out of line completely with Ange. The other woman had fit right into the mold of everything that Emily could’ve ever asked for in a partner. She was smart, sassy, funny, brave, and stronger than anyone Emily knew. She had literally saved Emily’s life, taking out the bastard who’d been trying to kill her, and it was something that Emily would never forget or take for granted. Only she had taken Ange for granted, and maybe that was the whole problem here. Ange was an amazing person, and she wanted and deserved to be loved and cared for as the beautiful and amazing person that she was. They were surrounded by people in relationships who were getting it right in their own way… not necessarily the most traditional of ways, what with Jude and Reecy and Renz and Lew both being open to Jude sleeping with Renz and Lewis, and Emily and Clint being married, while Clint dated her brother Linc. Nothing had to be traditional with them. They just needed the mutual respect to make it work. And that was something Emily had never been lacking, so why the fuck had she fucked all of this up so badly?
Clint was right. If she couldn’t show Ange the same respect, kindness, and understanding that she’d been shown by her, she didn’t deserve it in return. Emily was capable of it. She’d had relationships before. Really sweet ones, that she treasured the memories of. She couldn’t just pretend that she didn’t know how to have a workable relationship. She did. It had been a long time, but she still knew how. She had just gotten lost in the shuffle and let her relationship with Ange fail to be the priority it should’ve been when everything else was hard. That was the problem. Everything was hard, and what you needed most when things were hard was the love of the people who mattered most. Angela should’ve felt like one of those people when she was with Emily. She should’ve felt wanted and needed and treasured… not like an afterthought.
Emily wouldn’t even remember what brought it on later, but she was soon finding herself sitting at the desk she and Clint shared, with a piece of paper and a ball point pen as the tears spilled over from her eyes and after a moment, the first line held only two words… “Dear Ange…” They were just two words, but they were a start, and as the tears spilled from her eyes, so did the words from her heart.