Walker Evan Chester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
loveofafather) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2017-01-16 08:43 pm
loveofafather) wrote in muserevival2017-01-16 08:43 pm
Entry tags:
Word of the Day 006.
Lugubrious
adj. 1. Mournful, dismal, or gloomy, especially in an affected, exaggerated, or unrelieved manner
The one thing any parent worthy of the title in this world never wanted was their children to be hurting. From the moment they're born, you try to do everything in your power to prevent that. One of the hardest lessons you need to learn as a parent, in the very early days, is that you can't always prevent it. Walker had raised his daughter as a single father, and sacrificed many things to ensure she never wanted or needed for anything. He was determined to still give her the love of both parents, even if his partner passed away from testicular cancer when Reecy was only an infant. From there on, he vowed his life was for her.
This led to him becoming a mature-aged student at Med School. It had always been a dream of his, but it never quite got there when he was younger. It was one way he could provide for his daughter, and he did the hard yards. The very hard yards. Some days, he didn't even know how he made it through. Like every parent, he had those days where it felt like he was failing everything. Like he would never be able to make it through, and everything he did was wrong. That was just all part and parcel.
Today, it had been one of his hardest days of being a father. He had just been adjusting to the idea that Reecy was going to be a parent herself, though he hadn't quite be to the point of accepting he was going to be a grandfather yet. He was pretty sure he was still too young for that, and this was his baby girl they were talking about. Pregnant with twins and... not knowing who the father was. Though, she had told Walker that from the dates, she knew, but she hadn't had the chance to sit down and talk to him yet, due to her busy performance schedule.
Not to mention her charity schedule. Walker was beyond proud of his beautiful daughter for all she had achieved, and how much her charity work meant to her. A Broadway lead was beyond her wildest expectations, and even then, she had doubted she could do it. But do it, she did, and got herself quite a fan following in the process. She hadn't let herself think too much on what was supposed to happen once she became too pregnant to be able to perform. In a way, Walker knew his daughter, and knew that meant she wasn't sure about her decision. Perhaps fate had stepped in and made it for her, but that didn't make it any easier to face this horrible turn of events.
A miscarriage. Both of the babies deceased, without much warning. That wasn't a tragedy Walker could wish upon any woman. It was as difficult and painful as if the baby had been born and held in their arms long enough to get to know them. The grief may take a different form, but it was still an incredible loss. Some miscarriages, a woman didn't even known had occurred. And others, like Walker's beautiful daughter, were horrific and made the entire loss so much more difficult to bear.
Reecy suffered, and Walker had never felt so helpless. Perhaps not since he had nursed his husband through terminal cancer and had head head resting on his chest when his heart took its last ever beat. All that day, Walker had to be strong for Reecy. She wasn't coping herself, and she needed him. Being a doctor, he could do. Being a father of his only daughter who was broken, distressed and devastated, felt like a much harder task. Every tear she shed, every cry of pain, it felt like his heart was being crushed. At one point there, when they thought her life may be in danger from something that caused the miscarriage, Walker felt like he couldn't breathe. If he lost her, he wouldn't be able to go on.
She bled so much she ultimately needed a couple of units of blood. Not something he could even provide for her because he was a homosexual man. That felt like a failure, and it was impossible to avoid the guilt churning inside. Guilt was such an easy thing to feel when you were in pain. One small thing he had in his favour was that he was a doctor and they discharged her into his care instead of keeping her there for observation. She would need plenty of bed rest and quite possibly much more emotional and psychological support. Time would tell how she pulled through this. It may even leave her with physical difficult of carrying more children, but again, it's not something they could know in this early hour.
Walker was resting in bed with his daughter, in her room of the new home he had with Sawyer and Fin. Her room was there if she ever wanted or needed to come stay with him, just like it had been in his old place he lived alone. Basically, when push came to shove, Walker had just transferred everything from her room there, to here. She came over one day and arranged it all in much the same way. That was a comfort to both of them. Walker especially, because it put him at ease about the fact he was moving on from his past, and in a relationship for the first time since he lost his son. A special and loving relationship. He never thought he would have a second bite at the apple.
Reecy was sleeping with her head in his lap, while he sat up against a pile of pillows. He had a book beside him, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on reading it. He just sat there, stroking his daughter's hair and watching her sleep. Finally. It took a long time for her to fall asleep. She couldn't stop crying to manage it, nor was the pain helping matters.
There was a soft knock at the door, and it opened slowly a moment later. Fin was there in his pyjamas. His hair was sticking up in all directions, and there were creases from the pillow up one side of his face. He was Sawyer's teenage son, and as a result, Walker had come to think of him as his own too. Not in a sense that Fin needed another parent, because he had two biological ones that loved him dearly. But he was a stepparent, and Fin entrusted that duty in him. Walker took his seriously, as much as he took being a biological dad to his daughter. Reecy and Fin had become extremely close. She big sistered as if she had been born to do it. It went without saying that Fin would be upset with what had happened.
"Fin, it's late, kiddo. Are you okay?" Walker asked him softly.
Fin shook his head and stood there helplessly. It was only once he stepped a little closer that Walker realised he was nursing his tiny puppy in his arms. She was red micro teacup poodle, a gift for Fin from his boyfriend, Shannon. Small enough to fit in your palm or your pocket. Fin carried her around with him all the time. Sawyer, meanwhile, had anxiety about stepping on her that she ended up with Christmas bells around her neck during the holiday season. Soon, it drove everyone up the wall so much because she was a bright, enthusiastic little button and like to chase people's feet, even if she was smaller than them.
Fin had called the pup Rusty, not just because of her reddish fur, but because that had been Reecy's character name in her first Broadway role as a supporting character. Reecy adored it, and whenever she visited, she had her fair share of puppy cuddles. Needless to say, Fin would never be without a slew of babysitters for his furbaby.
"Sorry. Rusty was crying at the bedroom door here. I took her back to bed a couple of times, but she kept coming back," Fin explained, biting his lip. "Animals know, you know? They sense when someone is sick or hurting. I thought maybe Reecy might like cuddles from her. It might help. Not much, but maybe a little?"
Walker watched as the teen held the little pup out in his hands. The significance of the gesture wasn't lost on him. It touched him. He felt close to shedding tears again, when he had already been letting them fall on and off throughout the evening. He nodded with a faint smile. "I think she would love that, son. If Rusty knows, we have to let her do her job, don't we?" Fin was incredible with animals; a born and bred countryboy, raised on a horse ranch and farm. This was all he had to offer when his almost-stepsister was in the worst pain she had ever felt.
Fin stepped up and placed Rusty into Walker's lap. His green eyes lingered on Reecy, and Walker could see there were tears in them. "Come here, buddy," he coaxed softly and held his arm out for Fin to offer him a hug.
Fin breached the gap between them and accepted the hug. Walker felt Fin's hold tighten around him, and he clung there longer than Walker expected him to. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She's the strongest person I know, kiddo. She'll get there, but she'll need all of us to make it through," Walker murmured, rubbing Fin's back. "You want to lie down with us?"
Fin pulled back and hesitated. It was obvious he wasn't sure if that was his place. Only a couple of moments passed, however, before Fin climbed onto the bed and laid down in the space on Walker's other side. Fin fell asleep swiftly, having only barely been awake when he came here.
Walker sat and quietly took in the scene, and realised with some clarity them how much his life had changed. Whatever happened, they would do this as a family, not just as a team of two. And to Walker, that meant the world. No matter how painful this was, he wouldn't want to be facing it any other way.
Walker Chester
( Original Character )
adj. 1. Mournful, dismal, or gloomy, especially in an affected, exaggerated, or unrelieved manner
The one thing any parent worthy of the title in this world never wanted was their children to be hurting. From the moment they're born, you try to do everything in your power to prevent that. One of the hardest lessons you need to learn as a parent, in the very early days, is that you can't always prevent it. Walker had raised his daughter as a single father, and sacrificed many things to ensure she never wanted or needed for anything. He was determined to still give her the love of both parents, even if his partner passed away from testicular cancer when Reecy was only an infant. From there on, he vowed his life was for her.
This led to him becoming a mature-aged student at Med School. It had always been a dream of his, but it never quite got there when he was younger. It was one way he could provide for his daughter, and he did the hard yards. The very hard yards. Some days, he didn't even know how he made it through. Like every parent, he had those days where it felt like he was failing everything. Like he would never be able to make it through, and everything he did was wrong. That was just all part and parcel.
Today, it had been one of his hardest days of being a father. He had just been adjusting to the idea that Reecy was going to be a parent herself, though he hadn't quite be to the point of accepting he was going to be a grandfather yet. He was pretty sure he was still too young for that, and this was his baby girl they were talking about. Pregnant with twins and... not knowing who the father was. Though, she had told Walker that from the dates, she knew, but she hadn't had the chance to sit down and talk to him yet, due to her busy performance schedule.
Not to mention her charity schedule. Walker was beyond proud of his beautiful daughter for all she had achieved, and how much her charity work meant to her. A Broadway lead was beyond her wildest expectations, and even then, she had doubted she could do it. But do it, she did, and got herself quite a fan following in the process. She hadn't let herself think too much on what was supposed to happen once she became too pregnant to be able to perform. In a way, Walker knew his daughter, and knew that meant she wasn't sure about her decision. Perhaps fate had stepped in and made it for her, but that didn't make it any easier to face this horrible turn of events.
A miscarriage. Both of the babies deceased, without much warning. That wasn't a tragedy Walker could wish upon any woman. It was as difficult and painful as if the baby had been born and held in their arms long enough to get to know them. The grief may take a different form, but it was still an incredible loss. Some miscarriages, a woman didn't even known had occurred. And others, like Walker's beautiful daughter, were horrific and made the entire loss so much more difficult to bear.
Reecy suffered, and Walker had never felt so helpless. Perhaps not since he had nursed his husband through terminal cancer and had head head resting on his chest when his heart took its last ever beat. All that day, Walker had to be strong for Reecy. She wasn't coping herself, and she needed him. Being a doctor, he could do. Being a father of his only daughter who was broken, distressed and devastated, felt like a much harder task. Every tear she shed, every cry of pain, it felt like his heart was being crushed. At one point there, when they thought her life may be in danger from something that caused the miscarriage, Walker felt like he couldn't breathe. If he lost her, he wouldn't be able to go on.
She bled so much she ultimately needed a couple of units of blood. Not something he could even provide for her because he was a homosexual man. That felt like a failure, and it was impossible to avoid the guilt churning inside. Guilt was such an easy thing to feel when you were in pain. One small thing he had in his favour was that he was a doctor and they discharged her into his care instead of keeping her there for observation. She would need plenty of bed rest and quite possibly much more emotional and psychological support. Time would tell how she pulled through this. It may even leave her with physical difficult of carrying more children, but again, it's not something they could know in this early hour.
Walker was resting in bed with his daughter, in her room of the new home he had with Sawyer and Fin. Her room was there if she ever wanted or needed to come stay with him, just like it had been in his old place he lived alone. Basically, when push came to shove, Walker had just transferred everything from her room there, to here. She came over one day and arranged it all in much the same way. That was a comfort to both of them. Walker especially, because it put him at ease about the fact he was moving on from his past, and in a relationship for the first time since he lost his son. A special and loving relationship. He never thought he would have a second bite at the apple.
Reecy was sleeping with her head in his lap, while he sat up against a pile of pillows. He had a book beside him, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on reading it. He just sat there, stroking his daughter's hair and watching her sleep. Finally. It took a long time for her to fall asleep. She couldn't stop crying to manage it, nor was the pain helping matters.
There was a soft knock at the door, and it opened slowly a moment later. Fin was there in his pyjamas. His hair was sticking up in all directions, and there were creases from the pillow up one side of his face. He was Sawyer's teenage son, and as a result, Walker had come to think of him as his own too. Not in a sense that Fin needed another parent, because he had two biological ones that loved him dearly. But he was a stepparent, and Fin entrusted that duty in him. Walker took his seriously, as much as he took being a biological dad to his daughter. Reecy and Fin had become extremely close. She big sistered as if she had been born to do it. It went without saying that Fin would be upset with what had happened.
"Fin, it's late, kiddo. Are you okay?" Walker asked him softly.
Fin shook his head and stood there helplessly. It was only once he stepped a little closer that Walker realised he was nursing his tiny puppy in his arms. She was red micro teacup poodle, a gift for Fin from his boyfriend, Shannon. Small enough to fit in your palm or your pocket. Fin carried her around with him all the time. Sawyer, meanwhile, had anxiety about stepping on her that she ended up with Christmas bells around her neck during the holiday season. Soon, it drove everyone up the wall so much because she was a bright, enthusiastic little button and like to chase people's feet, even if she was smaller than them.
Fin had called the pup Rusty, not just because of her reddish fur, but because that had been Reecy's character name in her first Broadway role as a supporting character. Reecy adored it, and whenever she visited, she had her fair share of puppy cuddles. Needless to say, Fin would never be without a slew of babysitters for his furbaby.
"Sorry. Rusty was crying at the bedroom door here. I took her back to bed a couple of times, but she kept coming back," Fin explained, biting his lip. "Animals know, you know? They sense when someone is sick or hurting. I thought maybe Reecy might like cuddles from her. It might help. Not much, but maybe a little?"
Walker watched as the teen held the little pup out in his hands. The significance of the gesture wasn't lost on him. It touched him. He felt close to shedding tears again, when he had already been letting them fall on and off throughout the evening. He nodded with a faint smile. "I think she would love that, son. If Rusty knows, we have to let her do her job, don't we?" Fin was incredible with animals; a born and bred countryboy, raised on a horse ranch and farm. This was all he had to offer when his almost-stepsister was in the worst pain she had ever felt.
Fin stepped up and placed Rusty into Walker's lap. His green eyes lingered on Reecy, and Walker could see there were tears in them. "Come here, buddy," he coaxed softly and held his arm out for Fin to offer him a hug.
Fin breached the gap between them and accepted the hug. Walker felt Fin's hold tighten around him, and he clung there longer than Walker expected him to. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She's the strongest person I know, kiddo. She'll get there, but she'll need all of us to make it through," Walker murmured, rubbing Fin's back. "You want to lie down with us?"
Fin pulled back and hesitated. It was obvious he wasn't sure if that was his place. Only a couple of moments passed, however, before Fin climbed onto the bed and laid down in the space on Walker's other side. Fin fell asleep swiftly, having only barely been awake when he came here.
Walker sat and quietly took in the scene, and realised with some clarity them how much his life had changed. Whatever happened, they would do this as a family, not just as a team of two. And to Walker, that meant the world. No matter how painful this was, he wouldn't want to be facing it any other way.
Walker Chester
( Original Character )