Shelby Manning (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shelbycobra) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2017-07-27 02:20 am
shelbycobra) wrote in muserevival2017-07-27 02:20 am
Entry tags:
148.2.2 - quote
"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms to full to embrace the present."
Shelby forces herself to take a deep breath. And then another, and another, trying to convince herself that the near perfect world she had spent two and a half years building for herself is not about to end.
Two days earlier
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Shelby said, in complete and utter disbelief at what she'd just been able to figure out.
"Would you keep your voice down?" Shane replied, not giving any quarter as they stood arguing in the conference room at the race shop. "People can hear you pretty well in here."
"No, I will not keep my voice down," she retorted. "Because I think I've earned the right to be pissed off when you're replacing my spotter and didn't think you should tell me!"
She had noticed the unfamiliar face as soon as she'd walked into the shop to prepare for the weekend's race at Mid-Ohio. His name was David Stojanovic, she was told, and the 27-year-old Serbian was shadowing Derrick for the rest of the season after coming over from the Mercedes F1 team. Shelby had immediately called bullshit. The team didn't just randomly pick up somebody to tag along for the next five races just for fun.
"We're not replacing Derrick," Shane told her now. "He's looking at going over to the new sportscar program. I wanted someone here to get up to speed with him so that we don't have to start fresh next year."
"Why didn't he say anything?" she replied. Nothing he was saying was making her feel any better. She had walked in the door as the incumbent race winner, as the defending race winner at Mid-Ohio, feeling good about herself, and now he was just giving her reasons to be completely not confident in anything.
Shelby already knew that the 2018 season was going to be unpredictable. It was the final year of her contract with Team Penske. It was the first year with the new aero kits that the team would have to learn. To add a personnel change to that made her unbelievably nervous. She knew exactly the high price that could be paid if she fucked up in a contract year. In her head, she could easily end up out of IndyCar all over again.
"He didn't say anything because it wasn't his idea," Shane replied. "Roger wants to promote from within on the new program. He wants people he can trust for the launch. Tim asked Derrick and then he told me."
"So you knew and you didn't say anything either? Jesus, Shane." Shelby just shook her head. "I thought we were supposed to trust each other."
"I didn't say anything because I knew this was exactly how you'd react. I didn't want you getting upset when I need you focused on locking down this championship, especially going into a race that you can win again."
Shelby just stared at him. "So when were you going to tell me? When all of a sudden Derrick just wasn't here anymore?"
One day earlier
Shelby walked out of her meeting with Harvey and sat in her car, allowing her head to rest against the steering wheel as everything he'd told her rolled through her head. She hoped that her contract gave her some say in the lineup of her team, but she doubted that it did. She was not bigger than her team. She had always said that. Now it was coming back to bite her in the ass.
And now that the shock and the anger had worn off she was beginning to see the facts for what they were, as much as she disliked them. She trusted Shane with her life, and she knew that if Shane was open to the idea of Derrick leaving, it was for a reason. If it had been involuntary then Shane would have been fighting tooth and nail to keep her spotter just like he had told her that he'd rather quit than be reassigned to another driver. So maybe this was something that her friend really was considering.
Not to mention that David had to pass muster with Shane to even get himself in the door. Shane wouldn't let a two-time championship team move forward with just any new spotter. He would have insisted on quality. And nobody in Team Penske knew Formula 1 better than Shane. If he had been able to find David, then he had to see something in David that he liked. And it was a very wise move for David to work with Derrick now so that he was trained up for 2018.
She could hate the situation but she couldn't hate David. Not when she'd not even introduced herself to him because she'd been too busy yelling about him. He probably thought she was that same spoiled brat from five years ago.
This was a possibility with or without her, and she still had a race on Sunday to prepare for, so what was she going to do?
Today
She walks into the race shop knowing that they're all looking at her. It's the thing that shall not be named between them now, the reason why she feels cowed and why Derrick won't look her in the eye even as he and David are standing over Derrick's laptop. He knows that she knows and she isn't happy, and he feels like it's his fault and then she hates that he feels that way.
She doesn't want to see him go. Two and a half years isn't much time at all, really. It's next to nothing. And in that time they've won two titles and an Indianapolis 500. She's terrified that if he goes she'll never be successful again. That everything that's worked out so well will turn so bad and she'll fall down all over again.
But she also knows that she can't make this about her. This is about him, and if he was willing to give up his job a year ago for her father, he deserves the same respect from her. She has to be willing to let him go. And she has to put this to bed, get it all out of her head before the race and get back to winning another championship.
So she smiles at him. Extends her hand to David and welcomes him onto the team. She doesn't know where any of this is going, but for now she's just going to have to take a breath.
--
Shelby Manning
Need For Speed OC
1085 words
Shelby forces herself to take a deep breath. And then another, and another, trying to convince herself that the near perfect world she had spent two and a half years building for herself is not about to end.
Two days earlier
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Shelby said, in complete and utter disbelief at what she'd just been able to figure out.
"Would you keep your voice down?" Shane replied, not giving any quarter as they stood arguing in the conference room at the race shop. "People can hear you pretty well in here."
"No, I will not keep my voice down," she retorted. "Because I think I've earned the right to be pissed off when you're replacing my spotter and didn't think you should tell me!"
She had noticed the unfamiliar face as soon as she'd walked into the shop to prepare for the weekend's race at Mid-Ohio. His name was David Stojanovic, she was told, and the 27-year-old Serbian was shadowing Derrick for the rest of the season after coming over from the Mercedes F1 team. Shelby had immediately called bullshit. The team didn't just randomly pick up somebody to tag along for the next five races just for fun.
"We're not replacing Derrick," Shane told her now. "He's looking at going over to the new sportscar program. I wanted someone here to get up to speed with him so that we don't have to start fresh next year."
"Why didn't he say anything?" she replied. Nothing he was saying was making her feel any better. She had walked in the door as the incumbent race winner, as the defending race winner at Mid-Ohio, feeling good about herself, and now he was just giving her reasons to be completely not confident in anything.
Shelby already knew that the 2018 season was going to be unpredictable. It was the final year of her contract with Team Penske. It was the first year with the new aero kits that the team would have to learn. To add a personnel change to that made her unbelievably nervous. She knew exactly the high price that could be paid if she fucked up in a contract year. In her head, she could easily end up out of IndyCar all over again.
"He didn't say anything because it wasn't his idea," Shane replied. "Roger wants to promote from within on the new program. He wants people he can trust for the launch. Tim asked Derrick and then he told me."
"So you knew and you didn't say anything either? Jesus, Shane." Shelby just shook her head. "I thought we were supposed to trust each other."
"I didn't say anything because I knew this was exactly how you'd react. I didn't want you getting upset when I need you focused on locking down this championship, especially going into a race that you can win again."
Shelby just stared at him. "So when were you going to tell me? When all of a sudden Derrick just wasn't here anymore?"
One day earlier
Shelby walked out of her meeting with Harvey and sat in her car, allowing her head to rest against the steering wheel as everything he'd told her rolled through her head. She hoped that her contract gave her some say in the lineup of her team, but she doubted that it did. She was not bigger than her team. She had always said that. Now it was coming back to bite her in the ass.
And now that the shock and the anger had worn off she was beginning to see the facts for what they were, as much as she disliked them. She trusted Shane with her life, and she knew that if Shane was open to the idea of Derrick leaving, it was for a reason. If it had been involuntary then Shane would have been fighting tooth and nail to keep her spotter just like he had told her that he'd rather quit than be reassigned to another driver. So maybe this was something that her friend really was considering.
Not to mention that David had to pass muster with Shane to even get himself in the door. Shane wouldn't let a two-time championship team move forward with just any new spotter. He would have insisted on quality. And nobody in Team Penske knew Formula 1 better than Shane. If he had been able to find David, then he had to see something in David that he liked. And it was a very wise move for David to work with Derrick now so that he was trained up for 2018.
She could hate the situation but she couldn't hate David. Not when she'd not even introduced herself to him because she'd been too busy yelling about him. He probably thought she was that same spoiled brat from five years ago.
This was a possibility with or without her, and she still had a race on Sunday to prepare for, so what was she going to do?
Today
She walks into the race shop knowing that they're all looking at her. It's the thing that shall not be named between them now, the reason why she feels cowed and why Derrick won't look her in the eye even as he and David are standing over Derrick's laptop. He knows that she knows and she isn't happy, and he feels like it's his fault and then she hates that he feels that way.
She doesn't want to see him go. Two and a half years isn't much time at all, really. It's next to nothing. And in that time they've won two titles and an Indianapolis 500. She's terrified that if he goes she'll never be successful again. That everything that's worked out so well will turn so bad and she'll fall down all over again.
But she also knows that she can't make this about her. This is about him, and if he was willing to give up his job a year ago for her father, he deserves the same respect from her. She has to be willing to let him go. And she has to put this to bed, get it all out of her head before the race and get back to winning another championship.
So she smiles at him. Extends her hand to David and welcomes him onto the team. She doesn't know where any of this is going, but for now she's just going to have to take a breath.
--
Shelby Manning
Need For Speed OC
1085 words