Dr. Nathan Mitchell (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dontcomebackforme) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2013-12-04 10:38 am
dontcomebackforme) wrote in muserevival2013-12-04 10:38 am
Entry tags:
Word of the Day 007.
Devotion
n. 1. profound dedication; consecration. 2. earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.
For Nathan, being a doctor was the easy part. The hard part was watching the man you loved get torn away from you and knowing none of the skills you learned to become a doctor could help. It couldn't stop the pain. Overcoming the guilt was proving to be a near impossible task for him. He felt like he had let Tyler down not realising early in the game that the awful thing that happened to him had rapidly exacerbated a mental illness. If he had just realised, would he have been able to stop a lot of the pain?
In the early days, in the wake of Tyler's sexual assault, Nate had tried to hard to keep it together and be the strong one. It felt like his heart was being torn out by the roots watching Tyler spiral out of control. It was a path of self-destruction and with every passing minute, Nate had felt like he was failing more and more to rescue him from himself. He had desperately wanted to stay devoted to Tyler and wanted his love for him to be enough to hold them through it. But when his own health began to suffer and he, himself, began to find himself under psychological strain, he had to walk away and try to survive without the love of his life. He just knew now that he never had really managed to survive. It was an existence, not a life. It was a heartbreak that felt physically disabling.
Work was all he had to distract himself, and it wasn't long before he became a workaholic. But now with all the tragic turns that led Tyler back into his life, work had to take a back seat. Realising how much Tyler had intended to take his own life, Nate realised he had never stopped loving him. No matter how hard and painful this was, this was where he belonged. Tyler was starting to do better, and there were even hints that his memory was returning from the incapacitating Major Depressive Disorder that was linked to Dissociative Amnesia. Tyler had hurt the other person in his life who was even closer to him than Nate, and his brain hadn't been able to cope. Instead, it just shut down.
Nathan didn't know if Tyler would ever even recover glimpses of the person he used to be. Some days, he was sure he saw it there, if you looked close and intently enough. But other days, like today, it was like he was completely gone. He didn't want anyone near him, he didn't want to be touched. He looked at Nathan like he was a stranger and cowered away from his own identical twin. It was days like this when Nathan started to doubt he had the energy to do this for the rest of his life. It was days like this he felt incredibly alone in his fight. But at the same time, nothing would make him walk away from Tyler ever again.
Nathan Mitchell | Original Character | 517 words
n. 1. profound dedication; consecration. 2. earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.
For Nathan, being a doctor was the easy part. The hard part was watching the man you loved get torn away from you and knowing none of the skills you learned to become a doctor could help. It couldn't stop the pain. Overcoming the guilt was proving to be a near impossible task for him. He felt like he had let Tyler down not realising early in the game that the awful thing that happened to him had rapidly exacerbated a mental illness. If he had just realised, would he have been able to stop a lot of the pain?
In the early days, in the wake of Tyler's sexual assault, Nate had tried to hard to keep it together and be the strong one. It felt like his heart was being torn out by the roots watching Tyler spiral out of control. It was a path of self-destruction and with every passing minute, Nate had felt like he was failing more and more to rescue him from himself. He had desperately wanted to stay devoted to Tyler and wanted his love for him to be enough to hold them through it. But when his own health began to suffer and he, himself, began to find himself under psychological strain, he had to walk away and try to survive without the love of his life. He just knew now that he never had really managed to survive. It was an existence, not a life. It was a heartbreak that felt physically disabling.
Work was all he had to distract himself, and it wasn't long before he became a workaholic. But now with all the tragic turns that led Tyler back into his life, work had to take a back seat. Realising how much Tyler had intended to take his own life, Nate realised he had never stopped loving him. No matter how hard and painful this was, this was where he belonged. Tyler was starting to do better, and there were even hints that his memory was returning from the incapacitating Major Depressive Disorder that was linked to Dissociative Amnesia. Tyler had hurt the other person in his life who was even closer to him than Nate, and his brain hadn't been able to cope. Instead, it just shut down.
Nathan didn't know if Tyler would ever even recover glimpses of the person he used to be. Some days, he was sure he saw it there, if you looked close and intently enough. But other days, like today, it was like he was completely gone. He didn't want anyone near him, he didn't want to be touched. He looked at Nathan like he was a stranger and cowered away from his own identical twin. It was days like this when Nathan started to doubt he had the energy to do this for the rest of his life. It was days like this he felt incredibly alone in his fight. But at the same time, nothing would make him walk away from Tyler ever again.
Nathan Mitchell | Original Character | 517 words