angelwithoutwings: (131)
Angel Jesse Shaw ([personal profile] angelwithoutwings) wrote in [community profile] muserevival2015-08-22 10:49 pm

098.2. Muse Prompts - Quote

"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not." - James Joyce

‘Why don’t you get a nanny?’ One simple question, and Angel had lost his shit and punched an innocent acquaintance of a friend of a friend of a work colleague… right in front of a paparazzi armed with a camera he hadn’t seen. In fact, the only way he knew it had been there was the picture was spread all over the tabloids by the next day. All he wanted to do was punch the shit out of more fuckers. Maybe his patience was worn a lot more thin for this sort of stuff than he usually would be, but all things considered, how could anyone be surprised at that?

The only people who knew the depth of Angel’s stress right now were his family and closest friends, though. This wasn’t something anyone wanted spread all around and made public property. Some things were too sacred and private. The reason Angel was out at the grocery store with his baby daughter looking like death and possibly borderline homeless wasn’t because he needed a nanny, it was because his wife had been diagnosed with cancer, and after going through an extremely invasive and intense surgery that meant they wouldn't be able to have anymore children, still had to undergo chemotherapy.

With all this happening, Angel wanted to be the best father and dad he could be. He wanted to keep it together and still be the hands-on father he had been since their one year old baby girl had been born. But he was doing it all single-handedly now because Rosie was ill and wasn’t even able to pick Daisy up to nurse her. Just because he was a celebrity and had a healthy cash flow did not mean he didn’t want to raise his own child and take the reigns of his family alone now Rosie wasn’t capable of holding up her side of their team.

This was what husbands and fathers did. They went to the grocery store to buy diapers and baby food when they forgot to shop sooner and ran out. And fathers like Angel, who wanted to get it all right so his wife didn’t have to worry on top of being ill, felt guilty that he didn’t have enough time to buy a whole pile of organic fruit and vegetables to hand-make Daisy’s fresh baby food for her like Rosie took so much pride in. In fact, their little girl wasn’t even the picture of a perfect celebrity fashion accessory baby drenched in designer baby clothes and looking perfect in the paparazzi pictures. She had been screaming her head off and trying to pull Angel’s hoodie and dark sunglasses off, which is what led to acquaintance of a friend of a friend of a work colleague to make the nanny suggestion. What next? Telling him his one year old needed a nose job?

All he wanted to do was get this right for Rosie. She was the most beautiful person he had ever met, and it felt like he had been blessed with her spontaneously coming into his life. He had met many, many fans before her, but she was the only one who turned his head. So much so that he couldn’t look away. She was gorgeous, sweet, kind, caring, compassionate. To him, she was the most amazing wife in the world, and the mommy ability had come so naturally and easy for her. Angel just wanted to do the best job he can now she was sick, but he felt like he was royally fucking it up at every turn.

Rosie was sleeping in the hospital bed and Angel was pacing back and forth at her bedside with a miserable and teary Daisy on his hip while he tried to settle her. Rosie’s chemo had started the day before, and no one was doing well with it, least of all her. Daisy knew something was wrong with her mommy. Angel angrily tossed the gossip rag with his photo into the trash and shifted Daisy to nurse her against his chest and kiss her soft ginger hair and murmured helplessly to her, “I know, baby girl. I want to cry too…”

Angel Shaw // Original Character