Detective Julie Gresham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hotbrassdance) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2014-03-18 11:59 pm
hotbrassdance) wrote in muserevival2014-03-18 11:59 pm
Quote of the Day 060.
“People cry, not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.”
- Johnny Depp
Their wedding might not have come off without a few little hitches, but it had been perfect. Their perfect. The whole day was supposed to be perfect. They were supposed to look back on it for years to come and remember exactly why they did it, and how happy they had been to be doing it. It was never supposed to end like this.
Julie was sitting up in a hospital bed, her legs drawn up with her arms hugged around them, silent tears dripping down her cheeks as she stared numbly out the window, unseeing to anything beyond the pane of glass. She had just been wheeled back from Recovery after the surgical procedure and she was waiting for Euan to return to her side. She hated this feeling of loneliness that was etched right into every fibre of her. The only thing drowning it out was the incredible sadness and the guilt. Not even an anaesthetic managed to drown it out. It was all still there when she woke up. She barely even felt the pain of the IV in her arm with how tight she had her arms hugged around her legs.
Just hours before, she had been the happiness she had been her whole life. It was like nothing in the world could take that away from her. She married her hardass rough-around-the-edges love of her life, they had a baby on the way, and next week, the official papers of her adoption of young Ciaran would be through. They had picked St Patrick's Day to get married, because all the Irishmen who would be in attendence thought it was a good laugh. And it had been. There was little traditional about their wedding, and it was just the way it was meant to be. There was nothing traditional about either of them, and it was why Julie had chose a green wedding gown (with beautiful bridesmaids gowns for their sisters to compliment) because Euan had told her time and time again he loved seeing her in the colour of the Emerald aisle. Sure, the wedding was probably more for their families and honouring the importance of them in their lives, sharing that moment with them, but Julie had wanted to see that smile Euan got on his face when you could just tell that deep down inside beyond that tough exterior and the years of pain and struggle, he was genuinely happy and proud.
So very, very proud. He lived for his family, and that day was when Julie became an official part of that. They became a unique little family all of their own, and that would only expand in just over four months with the arrival of their unexpected, yet very welcomed, baby. Just a week day earlier, they had Julie's second trimester scan where they were given photos and a DVD of their baby... and learned they were expecting a baby girl. She would never forget the look of awed shock on Euan's face, closely followed by a smile that she usually only saw reserved for his son. Nothing about their union, their relationship, or their past was normal, but all that was worth it to get to that point.
She had walked up the aisle to the song she had sent to him when he was battling the drug cravings, the falling off the wagon, his son being seriously sick. When she realised that she hadn't just fallen in love with him, but she didn't want to lose him either. It was just after they slept together for the first time, and when she had fallen pregnant, though she hadn't realised for a couple of months after that what was going on. It was the song he had come to her with on his phone, played it back to her, and slowdanced with her in the foyer of her home - now their home - and proposed to her with his mother's cherish heirloom ring. It had been the start of something wonderful, swept off her feet, though they always kept their crazy personality clashes which really was what made them work so well together. It also led to a horrible turn of events that she had been so sure they were seeing the back of. This was supposed to be their clean slate, the start of their happy time together, where everything finally went right.
But now she was sitting here in a hospital bed, wedding ring feeling foreign on her finger because it had only been there for hours, in the wake of a sudden and unexpected miscarriage of their baby. The wedding reception had been so fucking happy. Everyone they loved were there. Even Beau managed to come along for an hour or so, despite feeling poorly with his cancer battle. They had just cut their shamrock wedding cake and were heading into their first dance. Euan hadn't even touched a single drop of green Guinness. They were going to get the formalities out of the way so everyone could let it all hang out and have a damn good party. Julie was tired by that point. She was ready to happily put her feet up on the sidelines and watched all their guests have a ball. She never got there.
It was her favourite song of all time, Rhythm of My Heart, that they had for their first dance. It was the CD she had put on during their first ever stakeout and he had incessantly teased her about her love of Rod Stewart, never letting her hear the end of it. Then one day not long after she found out she was pregnant, he had surprised her with a huge bunch of roses and cheesily sung it to her on Ciaran's SingStar while they danced together in her living room. She hadn't laughed that much in a long time. Euan might not admit it out loud, but he was a true romantic deep down inside where it counted.
By the end of the song, everyone was up and dancing with them, singing along to the well-known song, especially a roomful of Brits and Irishmen. It was why no one noticed at first when Julie abruptly doubled-over when an abrupt slice of pain tore through her lower abdomen. It was so bad, it brought tears to her eyes and she had cried out in pain. Euan had caught her immediately and that was when guests nearby had started to realise something was really wrong. It was all such an awful blur for her, pain all-encompassing. Euan never left her side, checking she was okay, and shouting at anyone nearby to call 911. She didn't forget how terrified he looked, how pale he was, how he obviously hadn't been ready to face the very real prospect that something could be wrong with their baby. The way Julie had been clutching her stomach, soon realising she was bleeding, it was impossible to deny what was happening.
And ultrasound in the ER confirmed there was no fetal heartbeat or movement. Her eyes had been filled with tears as she watched Haley deperately, waiting for her to tell them anything but the worst. But she couldn't. There was no question as to what happened, only the why, and those were answers they might never truly get clearly. She was in shock after that. She couldn't speak, lying there on the hospital bed still in her wedding dress with Euan sitting beside her holding her hand like he would never, ever let go and softly massaging her shoulder in what should have been a soothing rhythm, but nothing was going to make any of this feel better. He was numb himself, she knew. But she couldn't even speak to him. She could get words to form. It was like someone had their hands clutches around her throat, making it hard to breathe and speak.
It was all over now. She had the procedure and the baby was gone. Haley had come to see her in Recovery and told her the baby had been a girl and gave her heartfelt apologies and condolences, trying to do her job the best she could in the face of a close friends losing a baby. Some days, her job must be awful and Julie had found herself gripping Haley's hand to try to placate her, but still, not words came. Only tears.
It was starting to rain outside. Morning was coming. Their wedding day was over. She was married, but they didn't get to have a baby. All they got now was more pain to face, more loss, more battles. Why couldn't this have been perfect? Because fuck knew if anyone deserved a little peace and happiness... it was her new husband. With that it felt like her heart was crushing all over again, it was right at that moment that Euan appeared in the doorway. As soon as she saw him, she broke down in heartbroken sobs, and as soon as she felt his arms around her, it felt like it started to hurt all over again, and this time, a thousand times worse.
Julie Fitzpatrick // Original Character
- Johnny Depp
Their wedding might not have come off without a few little hitches, but it had been perfect. Their perfect. The whole day was supposed to be perfect. They were supposed to look back on it for years to come and remember exactly why they did it, and how happy they had been to be doing it. It was never supposed to end like this.
Julie was sitting up in a hospital bed, her legs drawn up with her arms hugged around them, silent tears dripping down her cheeks as she stared numbly out the window, unseeing to anything beyond the pane of glass. She had just been wheeled back from Recovery after the surgical procedure and she was waiting for Euan to return to her side. She hated this feeling of loneliness that was etched right into every fibre of her. The only thing drowning it out was the incredible sadness and the guilt. Not even an anaesthetic managed to drown it out. It was all still there when she woke up. She barely even felt the pain of the IV in her arm with how tight she had her arms hugged around her legs.
Just hours before, she had been the happiness she had been her whole life. It was like nothing in the world could take that away from her. She married her hardass rough-around-the-edges love of her life, they had a baby on the way, and next week, the official papers of her adoption of young Ciaran would be through. They had picked St Patrick's Day to get married, because all the Irishmen who would be in attendence thought it was a good laugh. And it had been. There was little traditional about their wedding, and it was just the way it was meant to be. There was nothing traditional about either of them, and it was why Julie had chose a green wedding gown (with beautiful bridesmaids gowns for their sisters to compliment) because Euan had told her time and time again he loved seeing her in the colour of the Emerald aisle. Sure, the wedding was probably more for their families and honouring the importance of them in their lives, sharing that moment with them, but Julie had wanted to see that smile Euan got on his face when you could just tell that deep down inside beyond that tough exterior and the years of pain and struggle, he was genuinely happy and proud.
So very, very proud. He lived for his family, and that day was when Julie became an official part of that. They became a unique little family all of their own, and that would only expand in just over four months with the arrival of their unexpected, yet very welcomed, baby. Just a week day earlier, they had Julie's second trimester scan where they were given photos and a DVD of their baby... and learned they were expecting a baby girl. She would never forget the look of awed shock on Euan's face, closely followed by a smile that she usually only saw reserved for his son. Nothing about their union, their relationship, or their past was normal, but all that was worth it to get to that point.
She had walked up the aisle to the song she had sent to him when he was battling the drug cravings, the falling off the wagon, his son being seriously sick. When she realised that she hadn't just fallen in love with him, but she didn't want to lose him either. It was just after they slept together for the first time, and when she had fallen pregnant, though she hadn't realised for a couple of months after that what was going on. It was the song he had come to her with on his phone, played it back to her, and slowdanced with her in the foyer of her home - now their home - and proposed to her with his mother's cherish heirloom ring. It had been the start of something wonderful, swept off her feet, though they always kept their crazy personality clashes which really was what made them work so well together. It also led to a horrible turn of events that she had been so sure they were seeing the back of. This was supposed to be their clean slate, the start of their happy time together, where everything finally went right.
But now she was sitting here in a hospital bed, wedding ring feeling foreign on her finger because it had only been there for hours, in the wake of a sudden and unexpected miscarriage of their baby. The wedding reception had been so fucking happy. Everyone they loved were there. Even Beau managed to come along for an hour or so, despite feeling poorly with his cancer battle. They had just cut their shamrock wedding cake and were heading into their first dance. Euan hadn't even touched a single drop of green Guinness. They were going to get the formalities out of the way so everyone could let it all hang out and have a damn good party. Julie was tired by that point. She was ready to happily put her feet up on the sidelines and watched all their guests have a ball. She never got there.
It was her favourite song of all time, Rhythm of My Heart, that they had for their first dance. It was the CD she had put on during their first ever stakeout and he had incessantly teased her about her love of Rod Stewart, never letting her hear the end of it. Then one day not long after she found out she was pregnant, he had surprised her with a huge bunch of roses and cheesily sung it to her on Ciaran's SingStar while they danced together in her living room. She hadn't laughed that much in a long time. Euan might not admit it out loud, but he was a true romantic deep down inside where it counted.
By the end of the song, everyone was up and dancing with them, singing along to the well-known song, especially a roomful of Brits and Irishmen. It was why no one noticed at first when Julie abruptly doubled-over when an abrupt slice of pain tore through her lower abdomen. It was so bad, it brought tears to her eyes and she had cried out in pain. Euan had caught her immediately and that was when guests nearby had started to realise something was really wrong. It was all such an awful blur for her, pain all-encompassing. Euan never left her side, checking she was okay, and shouting at anyone nearby to call 911. She didn't forget how terrified he looked, how pale he was, how he obviously hadn't been ready to face the very real prospect that something could be wrong with their baby. The way Julie had been clutching her stomach, soon realising she was bleeding, it was impossible to deny what was happening.
And ultrasound in the ER confirmed there was no fetal heartbeat or movement. Her eyes had been filled with tears as she watched Haley deperately, waiting for her to tell them anything but the worst. But she couldn't. There was no question as to what happened, only the why, and those were answers they might never truly get clearly. She was in shock after that. She couldn't speak, lying there on the hospital bed still in her wedding dress with Euan sitting beside her holding her hand like he would never, ever let go and softly massaging her shoulder in what should have been a soothing rhythm, but nothing was going to make any of this feel better. He was numb himself, she knew. But she couldn't even speak to him. She could get words to form. It was like someone had their hands clutches around her throat, making it hard to breathe and speak.
It was all over now. She had the procedure and the baby was gone. Haley had come to see her in Recovery and told her the baby had been a girl and gave her heartfelt apologies and condolences, trying to do her job the best she could in the face of a close friends losing a baby. Some days, her job must be awful and Julie had found herself gripping Haley's hand to try to placate her, but still, not words came. Only tears.
It was starting to rain outside. Morning was coming. Their wedding day was over. She was married, but they didn't get to have a baby. All they got now was more pain to face, more loss, more battles. Why couldn't this have been perfect? Because fuck knew if anyone deserved a little peace and happiness... it was her new husband. With that it felt like her heart was crushing all over again, it was right at that moment that Euan appeared in the doorway. As soon as she saw him, she broke down in heartbroken sobs, and as soon as she felt his arms around her, it felt like it started to hurt all over again, and this time, a thousand times worse.
Julie Fitzpatrick // Original Character