“The moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart.”
- Mahmoud El Hallab

Euan felt a pain deep inside his chest as he sat there on the side of the bed listening to his wife cry herself to sleep. She still wouldn’t talk to him... she wouldn’t talk to anyone. No one wanted to push her, because no one knew how this felt. Anyone that did know, she wasn’t ready to face. All she had wanted to do was get out of the hospital, and had turned down all medical tests to try to determine what it was that caused the miscarriage. She wasn’t ready to face those either, and she kept shying away from Euan’s touch when he tried to offer a hug. He didn’t know what hurt more anymore. It was just a constant agonising ache inside that wasn’t subsiding.

In the end, they discharged against medical advice. Euan had promised the doctors handling Julie’s case that he would get her straight back to the hospital if there were any complications, and the social worker agreed that it was best for her to be home in her own bed, in her own space, where she could grieve without feeling like she was being relentlessly poked and prodded to find answers that wouldn’t change the outcome. It wouldn’t bring their baby back. She had died, and Euan hadn’t realised how big a part of his heart had already been taken by the tiny unborn infant until she had been gone, and now it felt like a gaping wound that would never heal.

( It was evening, though not very late. The house was quiet now... and still... )

Euan Fitzpatrick (Original Character)