"I'm a loser
And I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be"
• I'm a Loser, The Beatles

Ever since the day of his breakup with Reecy, Jude felt like he couldn't get both feet on the ground to get a solid start on picking up the pieces again. He loved her. He still loved her. There was no changing or denying that, and there was no pretending that it was something he could just put aside now. He couldn't pretend it never happened. He couldn't pretend that losing her didn't hurt like hell, whether it was his fault or not. There were nights he would lie awake for hours after coming home from his nursing practicals and lie in bed alone wondering if that was what the rest of his life was going to be.

( And what if it was? )