098.5 Ten Things

[themightyfallinlove]

Ten promises to someone important to you

1. I promise to love you no matter what you do.
2. I promise that you can tell me anything, and I will never judge you.
3. I promise to watch cartoons with you anytime you want.
4. I promise to cuddle you when you're sick, even if you're super contagious.
5. I promise to always treat your mom with respect, no matter what.
6. I promise that if you ever decide not to treat your mom with respect, you and I are going to have a long and unpleasant talk about it.
7. I promise to always be a part of your life as long as there's breath left in my body.
8. I promise to help your mom teach you just how much you're worth, and what an amazing person you are.
9. I promise to always be true to my word and never make you promises that I can't deliver on.
10. I promise to keep pictures of you in my wallet and tell everybody who'll listen how proud I am to be your dad.

Curtis Harvey, original character

Comments

[lovesguinness]

Ya'll probably fail 'bout 75% o'them along the way.

[themightyfallinlove]

Dude, don't tell me that. I'm already feeling bad enough about missing almost 3 years of his life. I don't wanna fuck him up, too.

[lovesguinness]

Missed 10 o'my bairn's life. Shit happens. Ya' gotta just deal.

[themightyfallinlove]

I don't wanna fuck him up, though. I want to be a good dad.

[lovesguinness]

What makes ya' think ya'll be a bad one?

[themightyfallinlove]

I don't necessarily think I'll be a bad one. I just don't know where to start. Lucky for me, my baby mama has been in his life since day one, and she wants to help.

[lovesguinness]

My baby momma was a crackwhore, so could be worse, mate. Ya' just start. Doesn't matter where. They ain't gonna remember where ya' start. They only remember when ya' ain't there for 'em.

[themightyfallinlove]

Yeah, I'm not complaining about the baby mama. I don't ever plan to not be there for him.

[lovesguinness]

Just start then. They go from not havin' ya' t'havin' ya'. It ain't easy for either o'ya'.

[themightyfallinlove]

I had him for the first time Sunday... Little dude puked on me. He's got a nasty bug.

[lovesguinness]

Oh, aye. Hear that's goin' 'round. Me bairn gets homeschooled, so he ain't exposed as much t'that shite. They don't give ya' warnin' for that stuff.

[themightyfallinlove]

Nope. He just gave me this pitiful look, and then boom! Daddy needs a new t-shirt and kiddo's bawling.

Dude, I can't believe I have a kid. I'm happy, but it's a hard thing to wrap your head around.

[lovesguinness]

Tell ya', it's gonna be more o'a mindfuck f'him than you.

[themightyfallinlove]

Yeah, I know. He's only 2, nearly 3, and Dani's never raised him to think he needs a dad, so it's going to be a shock for him.

[lovesguinness]

Smart lassie. But it means ya' gonna have t'prove t'him what your purpose is.

[themightyfallinlove]

She is. And she's a great mom. You're right. That's not gonna be easy, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I need to find my place in his life, not the other way around.

[lovesguinness]

Kids are smarter than we give 'em credit. But he ain't big enough t'have figured out if he wanted a dad or not. Ya' just gotta do ya' thing, but don't do it by steppin' on his ma's toes and takin' the reigns from her.

[themightyfallinlove]

She's been the constant in his life since day one. She's the one who sets the tone for everything as far as I'm concerned. I will step in, and I'll do the best job I can as his dad, but I have no intentions of overstepping the boundaries she's put in place, or making him think that if Mom won't let him, he can ask Dad and do what he wants. It has to be a team effort.

[lovesguinness]

That'd guarantee ya' a one way ticket into cockless syndrome if ya' tried that on f'size. Just confuses the kid too.

[themightyfallinlove]

I'm happy having a cock, so I'd rather not fuck things up with Dani and Benny. I don't want to confuse him, either. I want the rules to be the same with me as they are with her. I just have to learn the rules first.

[lovesguinness]

Hear he's a really well behaved and sweet kid.

[themightyfallinlove]

That's what I hear, too. She's clearly doing a good job with him.

[lovesguinness]

Ya' should sit down w'her and talk out how ya' both feel 'bout all this and work out strategies. She's gonna have him in routines 'cause he's at the age he's learnin' shit. Ya' might potentially fuck that up for him, and ya' don't want a brat on ya' hands.

[themightyfallinlove]

I know that there's no way to do this that isn't going to throw his routine off in some way. But the only way to really do it is to follow her lead and work through it together. Like I said... Knowing where to start is a huge thing in itself.

[lovesguinness]

She technically won't lead ya', it'll be the bairn who does.

[themightyfallinlove]

I guess ultimately he'll lead us both, huh?

[lovesguinness]

He will. Even when ya' think ya' fuckin' it all up, ya'll just know it's worth it t'fuckin' keep tryin'.

[themightyfallinlove]

I just want to be the best dad I can be for him. I know I'm not perfect. Not even close, and I never will be. But I want to help him feel safe and loved. I know he's already got that with Dani, but I want to help him feel that way with me, too... Like he's just as safe with me as with her.

[lovesguinness]

Ya' ain't always gonna be. The best dad in the whole wide world ever with sunshine an' roses an' happiness. Ya' gotta cool shootin' for the bullseye or ya' gonna fall flat on ya' face. He ain't gonna know he's safe with ya'. Ya' a fuckin' stranger, mate. Take each day, give him a chance t'adjust.

[themightyfallinlove]

Like I said, I know I'm not gonna be perfect or the best dad ever. i just want to do my best with himm. And I know he's not going to know he's safe with me yet. But down the road, when I've been around a while, I want him to learn that. I'm willing to take all the time in the world. Now I know I'm his dad, I don't plan to stop being that. So hopefully, that means a the rest of my lifetime. I don't expect it to be easy or sunshine and lollipops.