Keiran O'Leary (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dublinbass) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2016-10-02 12:26 am
dublinbass) wrote in muserevival2016-10-02 12:26 am
Entry tags:
128.2. Lyrics
"Death by crying doesn't exist, though
The headaches feel a bit like it
You might explode
But you reach the end of the road
And you, little tree
I'm certain you will grow."
• Death By Chocolate, Sia
A maternity unit nursery was the last place Keiran expected himself to be at all. A long time ago, he had decided that maybe he didn't want children. He enjoyed teaching, but his life had changed so much since that strange time in his life way back when where trying to conceive a child had completely sucked the life out of him to the point he began to hate the idea of it. His relationship festered because of it, and ever since then, he had been a free spirit and never quite felt the urge to settle down and have children again. If it was all going to be that much trouble, he definitely didn't want it.
Now he was in Ireland, sitting by a clear newborn crib in a the maternity unit. He had no partner. He was a single and alone, and the only company he had in that small family room with lavender walls and diagrams of how to breastfeed was a tiny newborn baby girl looking back at him.
Just because he hadn't wanted children of his own didn't mean he hadn't been willing to help someone else who did. And that was what happened. Abigail Flanagan was one of Keiran's closest friends since they were in their high school years, though nothing romantic had ever happened between them. Abigail was a lesbian, and Keiran's high school sweetheart and first love, Mandy, was the first person Abigail came out to. Keiran had learned by default, and even if he eventually grew up and realised he was bisexual, back then, he hadn't known he was anything but straight because he was happy with Mandy and head-over-heels for her.
Then everything changed. Mandy and Abigail had a massive fight and falling out. To this day, Keiran still didn't know what the catalyst was, though he suspected it was a nasty rumour that spread like wildfire that he and Abigail had gotten drunk at a party and were caught having sex together. It didn't happen. Mandy had been sick and didn't make the particular party in question, and what actually happened was that Keiran went home sick from the party half an hour after it started... and Abigail drove him home because he was struggling to keep anything down. She didn't want him driving when he was feeling like shit.
Nothing happened, but rumours could be crippling. Although Mandy believed it wasn't true, her friendship with Abigail never repaired. Abigail got an early offer to college and moved to England to study. Keiran kept in touch with her, but she and Mandy never spoke to each other again. It was after that when Keiran proposed to Mandy and their wedding plans kicked into high gear. As did both of them deciding they didn't want to wait to have children. They both grew up in big Irish families, so it was a natural next step. Keiran just never expected it to become all-encompassing and to ultimately be one of the causes of their relationship to crash and burn when they couldn't get pregnant.
That was all ancient history, and felt like it was way more years in the past than it actually was. Fast-Forward to about a year ago now where Abigail flew over to see Keiran in New York with a proposition. She was with her partner, Fallon, and they had just gotten married and wanted a baby together. After many years of friendship, she asked Keiran if he would consider being their sperm donor. There had been no pressure at all, and at first, Keiran really wasn't sure. It wasn't something he ever thought would be a task that fell into his lap, but there it was. Of course, he agreed. It wasn't any skin off his nose. People were sperm donors all the time. There was no urge for him to be involved, and he flew over to Ireland to give his deposit and after a quick lunch with the girls, was on the next plane home for a gig he had booked.
He got an email two weeks later from Abigail confirming it had worked and she was pregnant. She and Fallon also had flowers sent to him to thank him, which Dillon teased him incessantly about, but only because he had no idea why his big brother was receiving flowers. It wasn't something Keiran told anyone, because he didn't think it was something anyone needed to know. Now, as he sat here feeling more alone in his life than he had ever felt, he wished he had told someone. Anyone.
It had only been four months into the pregnancy that Fallon cheated on Abigail and their relationship ended. Abigail, being the strong woman that she was, took it on the chin and decided she would be fine as a single mother. It would be her and her baby against the world. Keiran was a big support to her through the break-up, even if they were still oceans apart. They emailed and Skyped all the time, and it culminated in her asking him if he would be her baby's godfather. They were both Catholic, even if Keiran didn't practice. He was touched, and happily agreed and told her he would come to Ireland for the last few months of the pregnancy to help her out and be there for her when she gave birth.
Then it all went horribly wrong. There were complications during the birth and Abigail lost a lot of blood. She got to see her baby daughter for one day before she fell seriously sick with a blood infection, dropping into a coma. She died two days later. That was twenty-four hours ago and Keiran got the horrific phone call at four am from Abigail's mother, in tears. Coming to the hospital, it was then that Mrs Flanagan told him that Abigail had listed him as the father, and revealed on hospital documentation that he was the biological father. That meant he had the legal right to be the baby's sole guardian. He couldn't imagine a more painful conversation Mrs Flanagan would ever have to have.
Anya Amanda was the name Abigail chose for her little girl, and after her birth, she had admitted sheepishly to Keiran that she had missed Mandy for years, and even if their friendship had failed, she still cherished the years they spent growing up. It seemed like a fitting name. She was so tiny, but with big blue-green eyes that seemed locked on him as he gazed at her. The enormity of this hit him like a tonne of bricks, and he started to tear up. He had no idea what he was supposed to do, and the choice weighed heavily on him, mixed with the grief of losing his close friend.
He wasn't clueless when it came to children and babies, but this was the first that ever shared his blood. There was a nauseated nervousness twisting in his gut when he rose from the armchair and slowly, yet carefully, scooped the tiny bundle into his arms. He lifted her to his chest, cuddling her to him beneath his chin and burst into tears. How the fuck was he supposed to know what he was meant to do next?
Keiran O'Leary // Original Character
The headaches feel a bit like it
You might explode
But you reach the end of the road
And you, little tree
I'm certain you will grow."
• Death By Chocolate, Sia
A maternity unit nursery was the last place Keiran expected himself to be at all. A long time ago, he had decided that maybe he didn't want children. He enjoyed teaching, but his life had changed so much since that strange time in his life way back when where trying to conceive a child had completely sucked the life out of him to the point he began to hate the idea of it. His relationship festered because of it, and ever since then, he had been a free spirit and never quite felt the urge to settle down and have children again. If it was all going to be that much trouble, he definitely didn't want it.
Now he was in Ireland, sitting by a clear newborn crib in a the maternity unit. He had no partner. He was a single and alone, and the only company he had in that small family room with lavender walls and diagrams of how to breastfeed was a tiny newborn baby girl looking back at him.
Just because he hadn't wanted children of his own didn't mean he hadn't been willing to help someone else who did. And that was what happened. Abigail Flanagan was one of Keiran's closest friends since they were in their high school years, though nothing romantic had ever happened between them. Abigail was a lesbian, and Keiran's high school sweetheart and first love, Mandy, was the first person Abigail came out to. Keiran had learned by default, and even if he eventually grew up and realised he was bisexual, back then, he hadn't known he was anything but straight because he was happy with Mandy and head-over-heels for her.
Then everything changed. Mandy and Abigail had a massive fight and falling out. To this day, Keiran still didn't know what the catalyst was, though he suspected it was a nasty rumour that spread like wildfire that he and Abigail had gotten drunk at a party and were caught having sex together. It didn't happen. Mandy had been sick and didn't make the particular party in question, and what actually happened was that Keiran went home sick from the party half an hour after it started... and Abigail drove him home because he was struggling to keep anything down. She didn't want him driving when he was feeling like shit.
Nothing happened, but rumours could be crippling. Although Mandy believed it wasn't true, her friendship with Abigail never repaired. Abigail got an early offer to college and moved to England to study. Keiran kept in touch with her, but she and Mandy never spoke to each other again. It was after that when Keiran proposed to Mandy and their wedding plans kicked into high gear. As did both of them deciding they didn't want to wait to have children. They both grew up in big Irish families, so it was a natural next step. Keiran just never expected it to become all-encompassing and to ultimately be one of the causes of their relationship to crash and burn when they couldn't get pregnant.
That was all ancient history, and felt like it was way more years in the past than it actually was. Fast-Forward to about a year ago now where Abigail flew over to see Keiran in New York with a proposition. She was with her partner, Fallon, and they had just gotten married and wanted a baby together. After many years of friendship, she asked Keiran if he would consider being their sperm donor. There had been no pressure at all, and at first, Keiran really wasn't sure. It wasn't something he ever thought would be a task that fell into his lap, but there it was. Of course, he agreed. It wasn't any skin off his nose. People were sperm donors all the time. There was no urge for him to be involved, and he flew over to Ireland to give his deposit and after a quick lunch with the girls, was on the next plane home for a gig he had booked.
He got an email two weeks later from Abigail confirming it had worked and she was pregnant. She and Fallon also had flowers sent to him to thank him, which Dillon teased him incessantly about, but only because he had no idea why his big brother was receiving flowers. It wasn't something Keiran told anyone, because he didn't think it was something anyone needed to know. Now, as he sat here feeling more alone in his life than he had ever felt, he wished he had told someone. Anyone.
It had only been four months into the pregnancy that Fallon cheated on Abigail and their relationship ended. Abigail, being the strong woman that she was, took it on the chin and decided she would be fine as a single mother. It would be her and her baby against the world. Keiran was a big support to her through the break-up, even if they were still oceans apart. They emailed and Skyped all the time, and it culminated in her asking him if he would be her baby's godfather. They were both Catholic, even if Keiran didn't practice. He was touched, and happily agreed and told her he would come to Ireland for the last few months of the pregnancy to help her out and be there for her when she gave birth.
Then it all went horribly wrong. There were complications during the birth and Abigail lost a lot of blood. She got to see her baby daughter for one day before she fell seriously sick with a blood infection, dropping into a coma. She died two days later. That was twenty-four hours ago and Keiran got the horrific phone call at four am from Abigail's mother, in tears. Coming to the hospital, it was then that Mrs Flanagan told him that Abigail had listed him as the father, and revealed on hospital documentation that he was the biological father. That meant he had the legal right to be the baby's sole guardian. He couldn't imagine a more painful conversation Mrs Flanagan would ever have to have.
Anya Amanda was the name Abigail chose for her little girl, and after her birth, she had admitted sheepishly to Keiran that she had missed Mandy for years, and even if their friendship had failed, she still cherished the years they spent growing up. It seemed like a fitting name. She was so tiny, but with big blue-green eyes that seemed locked on him as he gazed at her. The enormity of this hit him like a tonne of bricks, and he started to tear up. He had no idea what he was supposed to do, and the choice weighed heavily on him, mixed with the grief of losing his close friend.
He wasn't clueless when it came to children and babies, but this was the first that ever shared his blood. There was a nauseated nervousness twisting in his gut when he rose from the armchair and slowly, yet carefully, scooped the tiny bundle into his arms. He lifted her to his chest, cuddling her to him beneath his chin and burst into tears. How the fuck was he supposed to know what he was meant to do next?
Keiran O'Leary // Original Character