128.4. Drabble

[livefortoday]

Morning

Getting home that morning, Hunter threw his cars onto the kitchen counter and then stopped, bracing his hands on the edge of it. He let his head drop with a sigh of exhaustion, feeling that telltale lump in his throat warning him that he was dangerously close to tears. He hated these moments when he couldn't separate his personal feeling from his professional ones.

Another young patient, lost to suicide. It was such a waste. He was only human, he wanted to make some sense of it. But he wasn't deluded enough to believe that it wasn't senseless. Mental illness could be dangerous, and sometimes, he was going to lose patients in an horrific way. It never got easier. All he had been able to do was pull an all-nighter to be there for the family, trying to help them through.

He only had a session with the girl the day before too. Some inner blame was trying to bubble up inside him, but he was focusing on all that advice he had ever received in debriefing right now. Crashing in bed was what he needed, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Without thinking about it, he took out his phone and hit dial on the top number now with pride and place at the top of his favourites list.

"Meli, babe, sorry I woke you. But do you think you could come over? I don't want to be alone right now..."

hunter alexander | original character

Comments

[magicmelody]

"Slivers of delusion are usually the ones that get us into the most trouble. Without giving any details he doesn't want widely known, one of Zoran's biggest slivers of delusion nearly had him dead. That's not even an exaggeration. He came close to dying more than once in recent months." Melody was listening in sad disbelief. "Is she okay? In a perfect world, no kids their age should have to face things like that. In perfect world, if that was the case, you wouldn't have a job either. Idealising is humans' biggest flaw. You know they understand the complexities of suicide, though. As awful as it is to realise that. I did see him, and it was horrific. I'll never forget his eyes. Don't you think the fact he's nearly taken his own might mean he gets that sometimes, life is too much to keep going with?"

She smiled at the kiss and looked at her pyjamas. "These are so old, they should've been retired with the dinosaurs. I could tell from your voice on the phone that we weren't going to be heading to One If By Land for a fancy-schmancy dinner. I'm glad you two are talking, though. He doesn't warm easily to people, but he was eager when you were interested in coming on board. I think he knows you'll get that he's a trauma survivor and not judge the mistakes he made from it. His bark is worse than his bite, though. You wouldn't have stood a chance right off the bat if he felt like you were going to hurt me." She reached over to get the drink for him, putting it pointedly in his hand. "At least get a bit of something into your belly."

[livefortoday]

"He was nearly murdered by his dad, wasn't he? He touched on it very briefly. That his dad was mentally ill." Hunter shook his head. "She's not quite okay. She was bullied by a group of awful kids at her school. Kids can be such cruel assholes when they're teenagers. She's going to school with her other friends now, and she was excited about that. Mentally and emotionally, she needs some more time. She sees Justin as a mentor or figurehead, that he fought what he has and still keeps going. That can always be a helpful thing for kids with psychological issues. Having the visual of other people facing the things they do, it can give them strength. But this is where I have the flipside of that. Another poor kid who killed herself. I think you're right, though. With this thing, Justin might push through and be okay with it."

He snickered and gave a little tug on her pyjama pants. "Not old, well-loved. And I'd be happy to get you out of them. In the name of stress relief and all that. Comfort sex? Is that a thing? I can't say I've ever experienced it, though. We have been talking. He's an interesting guy. Complex. So, what about you? Are you protective of his choice of lovers too?" he asked and gratefully accepted the drink she gave him.

[magicmelody]

There was hesitation before Melody nodded. "In the bare bones, censored version, yes. Zoran suffered a lot of ongoing... trauma through his teens. He might open up to you more about it once he knows he can trust you. He's been better talking about some of it. I'd say brace yourself when he does, though. It's heartbreaking." Hearing about Cassidy, though, a she was frowning, shaking her head. "Fuck. Kids can be such assholes. Anyone who is different, they suffer so much for being themselves. That's how Z and I gravitated towards each other when he came to my school. We were both so different. So, if Justin's the mentor, who is his mentor? I think he'd like to know, but do you warn his folks of a possible fallout from it?"

"I hear comfort sex is a thing, though I can't say I've ever had it. Sex to try to forget about shit, yes, but I think this might be better still. Only after you eat, though." She leaned comfortably in against him, and this time attempted to hold a McMuffin up to his lips. "I am... to an extent. Mostly because Zoran's partner is his childhood friend, that crosses into all those trauma boundaries. Even being part of the problem in the past. So, as protective as I am inside, it's complex. The biggest thing I've had to learn to do is not push Caleb in front of a bus so he doesn't hurt Z again."