131. 5: Ten Things

[thelawofrhythm]

10 Things You Would Never Do

1. Lie to my baby brother.
2. Turn my back on the people I love.
3. Leave Zoran and the band permanently.
4. Get anything pierced that is covered by panties.
5. Introduce any kid ever to the Song that Never Ends.
6. Cheat at Monopoly (though my brother swears I do)
7. Cheat on a partner.
8. Give up music.
9. Give up law.
10. Put up with self-righteous cunts (beyond what is necessary for work).

Comments

[zedblaze]

Your feelings. C'mon, I know you both better than I know myself.

[thelawofrhythm]

Come on, Z. If Meli's happy, I'm happy. Isn't that how it always is supposed to be?

[zedblaze]

I dunno, bub. Happy's a foreign concept to me these days. I think it's a slippery sucker to define. If you wanna use it as just a label, sure. But in my experience, labels act just like band-aids do. I see how she looks when he walks in the room, though. And I see how his eyes go straight to her. At the end of the day, ain't that what it's all about?

[Private]

[thelawofrhythm]

She was never going to love me like I wanted her to, Z. It wasn't ever supposed to go that way anyway.

[zedblaze]

Hey, c'mon, bitch. You don't know what she's thinking. We ain't ever supposed to know what someone else is thinking. We do too much of trying to figure someone else's thoughts out, and not enough of figuring out own out.

[thelawofrhythm]

What I had with her... It wasn't ever supposed to be anything more than two friends having a bit of fun. I didn't mean to fall in love with her in the first place. But clearly, she's got a boyfriend now, so she's not thinking about how much she wants to be with me. I don't need to figure that out. It's just a thing.

[zedblaze]

Says who? She didn't know, so it can't be her? You're really imposing restrictions on something before you even gave it a chance to be something? She's got a boyfriend now 'cause she had no better offers at the time. And Hunter didn't resist.

[thelawofrhythm]

I missed you, Z. You bitch. :P I feel like I should talk to her about it, but at the same time, I don't know what good can come of telling someone that you're in love with them once they're in a relationship with someone great.

[zedblaze]

I missed me too. Talk to her, get to know Hunter. He's a good guy, love. It'll be impossible for you not to like him. He's Justin's counsellor. He found his trans best friend dead when he committed suicide. You can't forget, this is Meli we're talking about. She's one of the most understanding folk in the whole world. There's a reason she's the only person I kept close to me for a long time.

[thelawofrhythm]

I don't want to not like him. She loves him. He's good to her. That's what she deserves more than anything in the world. I can't forget that about her. It's why I fell for her in the first place. We went into it as FWB. Blowing off steam, you know? Somehow in the midst of it all, I fell for her... but I didn't hold onto her.

[zedblaze]

You won't be able to not like him. I'm not trying to play his biggest fanboy here. He's just genuinely a lovely guy. You got scared. Darlin', everyone gets scared of shit in life. It's human nature. Fear is our worst fucking enemy.

[thelawofrhythm]

I swear, all I really needed from him was for him to treat her well, and he clearly does that in boatloads. She doesn't belong to me for me to be upset that she's with someone else. But knowing that I got scared doesn't matter all that much. It doesn't fix anything or change the outcome.

[zedblaze]

He does. He does, and I know she feels like she doesn't deserve the attention and romance. He brought her flowers to one of our jam sessions, and she just looked stunned. Sure it does. It'll stop you making the same mistakes in the future.

[thelawofrhythm]

She deserves it. She deserves it in fucking spades. She's beautiful, and kind, and the exact sort of woman that deserves the best treatment. I don't want to make the same mistakes, but I don't really foresee myself falling in love any time soon.

[zedblaze]

I think Hunter just saw that, and didn't let it pass him by. We all could probably take a leaf outta his book. Why not?

[thelawofrhythm]

Because I didn't even mean to fall in love with Meli. Now I'm going to have the walls up a little more. No need to get my heart broken again.

[zedblaze]

Oh. That old story. Yeah, I know that one by heart.

[thelawofrhythm]

What do you mean?

[zedblaze]

Not wanting anyone else to break part of you again. I get it.

[thelawofrhythm]

Maybe it makes me chickenshit, but better chickenshit than heartbroken, I think.

I don't want to mope about it. Ultimately, that would only hurt Meli more than anything else.