Detective Euan Fitzpatrick (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lovesguinness) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2014-01-22 11:06 pm
lovesguinness) wrote in muserevival2014-01-22 11:06 pm
Entry tags:
052.1. Muse Prompt
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets."
Paul Tournier
Today was a day that Euan would welcome the small amount of peace that had come for the moment. He had just finished a really rough session of physio, but his most successful to date with being on his feet longer than previous sessions collectively, albeit with assistance. It was something, and he would take it. His son would be in the hospital for another four days for the remainder of his treatment, which was to be expected. He had found a rhythm now with having a sick kid. It was never easy, but nothing worth fighting for and protecting ever was. Dillon would be going away to rehab in Connecticut on the weekend, which had been the aim since he was brought from Ireland, and Noah had finally crashed out, his mind and body exhausted and drained from trying to detoxify itself from ice. Euan was relieved the poor kid had finally peaked in it, and would be on the downward slope with it now.
Today was hard for Euan, however, and not for any of the reasons above. It was the anniversary of a day he would never forget as long as he lived. It was the anniversary of his terrifying wake-up call that finally gave him a reason to get on the wagon and stay there. No matter how many people who willingly discussed his substance abuse with, very few asked him what it was that made him truly quit. He had been in it so deeply. He had tried many times to clean up and stay clean, but there was always some missing link in his brain. He did clean up to get through the Police Academy, but he fell off again when he was a rookie. Which is where he made the most horrific mistake of all.
Euan killed someone. He took a life. It haunted him at the back of his mind to this day. He had gone through extensive therapy in the wake of it, but it hadn't worked how it should have. Not many people knew about it and that was something he planned on keeping that way. It had only been when Noah confessed to him that he had nearly killed someone when he was tripping on ice that it had brought it back abruptly for Euan, and it had sent a cold shiver down his spine at how close to this anniversary the topic had been raised out of the blue. But his responsibility to Noah was to be a shoulder for him, an ear to listen, and a sturdy support the kid had been lacking in far too long. He had been in Noah's shoes and he understood what his fight was like, and it was why he just knew, deep down inside his heart, that he had to help this kid. He had to give him a reason to want to keep living, and the means, or the kid would have just given up, stopped, expired... and no one would have cared at all. He deserved to be cared about. He was a sweet kid, he just had the horrific demons of addiction with a vice-like grip on him. Those were demons Euan knew too well.
The life he took wasn't an innocent one; a convicted criminal out on parole, but he didn't deserve a life sentence either. It was a drunk guy with booze problems and associated physical violence from alcohol abuse, and they were a dime a dozen when you were a rookie working a beat. Some days to Euan, it felt like every second case he was called to, there was an alcoholic involved for some reason or another. This was a bar brawl, and Euan had turned up to a shift high after a couple of snorts of coke. He had been trying to clean up again. It was his third fall from the wagon, and even though he had been going to Narcotics Anonymous meeting, he hadn't managed to keep up his side of that bargain.
The coke had left him super-alert, but to the wrong things and his observation skills were waning. After drunkenly mouthing filthy abuse and threats that he was "gonna kill the pigs", Euan thought he saw the guy reaching for a gun, so he pulled his own pistol and shot him. The guy had been only reaching for a hipflask in his jacket, but Euan was a sharp-shooter, a skill he had just naturally discovered in his training, and shot the guy in the head. In he midst of the brawl, the drunk guy was surrounded by other members of his gang and in retaliation, Euan's partner had a whole revolver of bullets emptied into his torso. All they had been called out for was to break up the bar brawl. Euan blamed himself for both deaths, and it wasn't a demon he was ever going to manage to shed. It had finally been enough for him to kick the drugs and stay on the wagon, but it was why he had reacted so badly when he fell off a couple of months back when his son's life was hanging in the balance.
He was sitting outside a coffee shop near the hospital having a smoke. He hadn't been able to stay off the smokes on top of everything else. He didn't smoke near as much as he used to, and never around Ciaran. Sometimes, a guy just needed something to take the edge of the stress. Keiran had joined him briefly, just to make sure he was okay, and then he had left to give him some space, seeing that Euan was troubled that day. Troubled, but still grateful other things were at ease while he took the time to let his memories linger back to that fateful day. His partner had been a really good guy, and left a teenage son and a daughter heading for middle school. He was absolutely one of the reasons why Euan had sworn blind to himself when he found out he had a son that he would be the best dad he could be, no questions asked. He doubted himself on the regular, but it was more of a result of questioning whether he was on the right track, was he doing the best he could for his son?
It was sheer dumb luck that Euan never got a record for his drug history. It's what meant he could still be a cop, which, for a long time, had been his only reason to live. Now he had his son and he was going to stay clean for him. Meeting Noah, and seeing in him the place Euan used to be, he had known this was a place he could - even just a tiny hint - make up for the mistakes in his past. He could never erase them, take them away, change the fact he was a recovering addict, but he could intercept Noah's destructive path before he took a life... especially when the life he took would have inevitably been his own.
Euan vowed a long time ago that he wasn't going to have anymore innocent blood on his hands. He just hadn't realised at the time that his now piqued paternal instincts would show him that might mean saving a life that wasn't going to be lost by his mistakes but of someone else's. Someone who could truly be like his history repeating all over again. He cared about Noah, he wanted to see him right, and there was no way he was going to let him die. Not even close.
Euan Fitzpatrick (Original Character)
Paul Tournier
Today was a day that Euan would welcome the small amount of peace that had come for the moment. He had just finished a really rough session of physio, but his most successful to date with being on his feet longer than previous sessions collectively, albeit with assistance. It was something, and he would take it. His son would be in the hospital for another four days for the remainder of his treatment, which was to be expected. He had found a rhythm now with having a sick kid. It was never easy, but nothing worth fighting for and protecting ever was. Dillon would be going away to rehab in Connecticut on the weekend, which had been the aim since he was brought from Ireland, and Noah had finally crashed out, his mind and body exhausted and drained from trying to detoxify itself from ice. Euan was relieved the poor kid had finally peaked in it, and would be on the downward slope with it now.
Today was hard for Euan, however, and not for any of the reasons above. It was the anniversary of a day he would never forget as long as he lived. It was the anniversary of his terrifying wake-up call that finally gave him a reason to get on the wagon and stay there. No matter how many people who willingly discussed his substance abuse with, very few asked him what it was that made him truly quit. He had been in it so deeply. He had tried many times to clean up and stay clean, but there was always some missing link in his brain. He did clean up to get through the Police Academy, but he fell off again when he was a rookie. Which is where he made the most horrific mistake of all.
Euan killed someone. He took a life. It haunted him at the back of his mind to this day. He had gone through extensive therapy in the wake of it, but it hadn't worked how it should have. Not many people knew about it and that was something he planned on keeping that way. It had only been when Noah confessed to him that he had nearly killed someone when he was tripping on ice that it had brought it back abruptly for Euan, and it had sent a cold shiver down his spine at how close to this anniversary the topic had been raised out of the blue. But his responsibility to Noah was to be a shoulder for him, an ear to listen, and a sturdy support the kid had been lacking in far too long. He had been in Noah's shoes and he understood what his fight was like, and it was why he just knew, deep down inside his heart, that he had to help this kid. He had to give him a reason to want to keep living, and the means, or the kid would have just given up, stopped, expired... and no one would have cared at all. He deserved to be cared about. He was a sweet kid, he just had the horrific demons of addiction with a vice-like grip on him. Those were demons Euan knew too well.
The life he took wasn't an innocent one; a convicted criminal out on parole, but he didn't deserve a life sentence either. It was a drunk guy with booze problems and associated physical violence from alcohol abuse, and they were a dime a dozen when you were a rookie working a beat. Some days to Euan, it felt like every second case he was called to, there was an alcoholic involved for some reason or another. This was a bar brawl, and Euan had turned up to a shift high after a couple of snorts of coke. He had been trying to clean up again. It was his third fall from the wagon, and even though he had been going to Narcotics Anonymous meeting, he hadn't managed to keep up his side of that bargain.
The coke had left him super-alert, but to the wrong things and his observation skills were waning. After drunkenly mouthing filthy abuse and threats that he was "gonna kill the pigs", Euan thought he saw the guy reaching for a gun, so he pulled his own pistol and shot him. The guy had been only reaching for a hipflask in his jacket, but Euan was a sharp-shooter, a skill he had just naturally discovered in his training, and shot the guy in the head. In he midst of the brawl, the drunk guy was surrounded by other members of his gang and in retaliation, Euan's partner had a whole revolver of bullets emptied into his torso. All they had been called out for was to break up the bar brawl. Euan blamed himself for both deaths, and it wasn't a demon he was ever going to manage to shed. It had finally been enough for him to kick the drugs and stay on the wagon, but it was why he had reacted so badly when he fell off a couple of months back when his son's life was hanging in the balance.
He was sitting outside a coffee shop near the hospital having a smoke. He hadn't been able to stay off the smokes on top of everything else. He didn't smoke near as much as he used to, and never around Ciaran. Sometimes, a guy just needed something to take the edge of the stress. Keiran had joined him briefly, just to make sure he was okay, and then he had left to give him some space, seeing that Euan was troubled that day. Troubled, but still grateful other things were at ease while he took the time to let his memories linger back to that fateful day. His partner had been a really good guy, and left a teenage son and a daughter heading for middle school. He was absolutely one of the reasons why Euan had sworn blind to himself when he found out he had a son that he would be the best dad he could be, no questions asked. He doubted himself on the regular, but it was more of a result of questioning whether he was on the right track, was he doing the best he could for his son?
It was sheer dumb luck that Euan never got a record for his drug history. It's what meant he could still be a cop, which, for a long time, had been his only reason to live. Now he had his son and he was going to stay clean for him. Meeting Noah, and seeing in him the place Euan used to be, he had known this was a place he could - even just a tiny hint - make up for the mistakes in his past. He could never erase them, take them away, change the fact he was a recovering addict, but he could intercept Noah's destructive path before he took a life... especially when the life he took would have inevitably been his own.
Euan vowed a long time ago that he wasn't going to have anymore innocent blood on his hands. He just hadn't realised at the time that his now piqued paternal instincts would show him that might mean saving a life that wasn't going to be lost by his mistakes but of someone else's. Someone who could truly be like his history repeating all over again. He cared about Noah, he wanted to see him right, and there was no way he was going to let him die. Not even close.
Euan Fitzpatrick (Original Character)