Emilio Eron Alvarez (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
arrecho) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2014-02-10 12:40 am
arrecho) wrote in muserevival2014-02-10 12:40 am
Entry tags:
Word of the Day 045.
Ruminate
v. 1. To think deeply about something.
Emilio had hardly slept the night before, so whilst he was usually more of a fan of warmer weather than cold, he invited the chill today with the cool air coming in through the window he had cracked to help clear his mind. A phone call had come yesterday from Cole's rehab case worker and invited him to come along to a 'family day', or the more clinical name being 'Family Psychoeducational Workshop'. Honestly, he had no idea what that even meant, but he had accepted before even asking for more information. His conscience did make him point out to the worker that he wasn't really Cole's family, but it felt really nice to be reassured that partners are included if the client requested it.
Cole had requested it. Emilio had ended up with a case of verbal diarrhoea at that point, a ramble of concern about whether him coming to see Cole would affect his treatment, whether it was a good idea, was it too soon, etc. etc. The case worker validated all his concerns, but then went on to say something that made Emilio feel a burst of pride inside for Cole. His hard work of the last three weeks was paying off, and he was no classified in the 'recovery phase' of his rehab. This was apparently the part where family became more involved and they started to open up avenues to reintegrate the client back to his life, albeit with tools and techniques to do it without drugs or alcohol.
He knew that Cole had no contact with any of his actual family. That was part of the reason Emilio hadn't hesitated in accepting the invitation. The other part - the larger part - was that he missed Cole a lot. He worried about him every day since he went, wondered constantly how he was coping, if he was well, whether the therapy was taking its toll. He didn't know what one of these family days would involved. He was told not to bring anything because Cole had everything he needed here, and he was given an appointment time to come. He assumed it would just be a session with Cole and one of his therapists, which was fine. He had no objections to that. He would follow the treatment plan, and honestly, he could use any of the education they could give him in what should happen once Cole came home. He was just glad Cole trusted him enough to consider him a viable option for his 'family day'. That meant a lot.
It was a two hour drive to the rehab clinic in Connecticut, and it gave Emilio a lot of time to think. He had set off from the city early when his appointment wasn't until after lunch, but after the shitty night with very little sleep, he was just going to sit around impatiently. It was a nice town apparently, so he could kill some time up there rather than going stir crazy in his apartment. Instead of clearing his head, however, Emilio found himself thinking deeply about everything that had occurred and what my happened next. He would be lying if he didn't admit, at least to himself, that there were times he wondered what the fuck he was getting himself in for. He felt ill-equipped to deal with someone with as many complicated issues as Cole had.
Many people all over the world had substance issues. But Cole's very existence had only been continuing under the literally constant block of booze or drugs. He wasn't functioning, he was using the substance to stay in an artificial reality. He had a mental health condition that was untreated, unless you count the illegal substances as treatment, and any time he was even a hint of sober, he spun out of control, flew off the handle, and went right back to using and drinking tenfold. It shouldn't have been something Emilio wanted a bar of, especially not after hearing the only reason Cole fucked him was because he was trashed off his face to picture his dead boyfriend while he did.
That was until Cole grabbed his balls in his hand and admitted to Emilio how many problems he had. He admitted he didn't want to live without the drugs or the booze. Without them, he would have taken his own life, and on purpose. A couple of accidental ODs in his past hadn't even scared him into cleaning up. All it did was make him feel like if he survived an OD, he must be doing something right. The confession was what told Emilio that Cole wasn't a lost cause. There was still something almost fully drowned out inside him that was there and wanted to overcome this. That was all that was needed; a simple spark of hope, and that turned out to be one of the biggest parts of Cole that Emilio admired.
He was trying to cut back on his smoking, but he had lit up to indulge in a couple on the drive to Connecticut. He knew he was told not to bring Cole anything he might need, but lying on the passengers seat beside him was a large bunch of white roses and a blank card Emilio had written inside celebrating Cole's three weeks sober. He had asked permission, and flowers were allowed and welcomed. Three weeks didn't seem like much to most people, but for Cole, it had probably felt like a lifetime and then some.
And Emilio knew that Cole had already hit rock bottom and beyond. Anything from there on was progress, and progress was better than destruction... especially when he knew deep down without a shadow of a doubt that his own progress was that he was falling in love.
Emilio Alvarez { Original Character }
v. 1. To think deeply about something.
Emilio had hardly slept the night before, so whilst he was usually more of a fan of warmer weather than cold, he invited the chill today with the cool air coming in through the window he had cracked to help clear his mind. A phone call had come yesterday from Cole's rehab case worker and invited him to come along to a 'family day', or the more clinical name being 'Family Psychoeducational Workshop'. Honestly, he had no idea what that even meant, but he had accepted before even asking for more information. His conscience did make him point out to the worker that he wasn't really Cole's family, but it felt really nice to be reassured that partners are included if the client requested it.
Cole had requested it. Emilio had ended up with a case of verbal diarrhoea at that point, a ramble of concern about whether him coming to see Cole would affect his treatment, whether it was a good idea, was it too soon, etc. etc. The case worker validated all his concerns, but then went on to say something that made Emilio feel a burst of pride inside for Cole. His hard work of the last three weeks was paying off, and he was no classified in the 'recovery phase' of his rehab. This was apparently the part where family became more involved and they started to open up avenues to reintegrate the client back to his life, albeit with tools and techniques to do it without drugs or alcohol.
He knew that Cole had no contact with any of his actual family. That was part of the reason Emilio hadn't hesitated in accepting the invitation. The other part - the larger part - was that he missed Cole a lot. He worried about him every day since he went, wondered constantly how he was coping, if he was well, whether the therapy was taking its toll. He didn't know what one of these family days would involved. He was told not to bring anything because Cole had everything he needed here, and he was given an appointment time to come. He assumed it would just be a session with Cole and one of his therapists, which was fine. He had no objections to that. He would follow the treatment plan, and honestly, he could use any of the education they could give him in what should happen once Cole came home. He was just glad Cole trusted him enough to consider him a viable option for his 'family day'. That meant a lot.
It was a two hour drive to the rehab clinic in Connecticut, and it gave Emilio a lot of time to think. He had set off from the city early when his appointment wasn't until after lunch, but after the shitty night with very little sleep, he was just going to sit around impatiently. It was a nice town apparently, so he could kill some time up there rather than going stir crazy in his apartment. Instead of clearing his head, however, Emilio found himself thinking deeply about everything that had occurred and what my happened next. He would be lying if he didn't admit, at least to himself, that there were times he wondered what the fuck he was getting himself in for. He felt ill-equipped to deal with someone with as many complicated issues as Cole had.
Many people all over the world had substance issues. But Cole's very existence had only been continuing under the literally constant block of booze or drugs. He wasn't functioning, he was using the substance to stay in an artificial reality. He had a mental health condition that was untreated, unless you count the illegal substances as treatment, and any time he was even a hint of sober, he spun out of control, flew off the handle, and went right back to using and drinking tenfold. It shouldn't have been something Emilio wanted a bar of, especially not after hearing the only reason Cole fucked him was because he was trashed off his face to picture his dead boyfriend while he did.
That was until Cole grabbed his balls in his hand and admitted to Emilio how many problems he had. He admitted he didn't want to live without the drugs or the booze. Without them, he would have taken his own life, and on purpose. A couple of accidental ODs in his past hadn't even scared him into cleaning up. All it did was make him feel like if he survived an OD, he must be doing something right. The confession was what told Emilio that Cole wasn't a lost cause. There was still something almost fully drowned out inside him that was there and wanted to overcome this. That was all that was needed; a simple spark of hope, and that turned out to be one of the biggest parts of Cole that Emilio admired.
He was trying to cut back on his smoking, but he had lit up to indulge in a couple on the drive to Connecticut. He knew he was told not to bring Cole anything he might need, but lying on the passengers seat beside him was a large bunch of white roses and a blank card Emilio had written inside celebrating Cole's three weeks sober. He had asked permission, and flowers were allowed and welcomed. Three weeks didn't seem like much to most people, but for Cole, it had probably felt like a lifetime and then some.
And Emilio knew that Cole had already hit rock bottom and beyond. Anything from there on was progress, and progress was better than destruction... especially when he knew deep down without a shadow of a doubt that his own progress was that he was falling in love.
Emilio Alvarez { Original Character }