Angela Louella Ashwood (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
americanskin) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2015-10-16 03:22 pm
americanskin) wrote in muserevival2015-10-16 03:22 pm
Entry tags:
103.2. Quotes
"There's a difference between solitude and loneliness." - Maggie Smith
Angela was about ready to give up on love indefinitely. It never seemed to work out when she tried it, and she was feeling a pile of things she couldn't quite identify within her yet. She was putting it down to pregnancy hormones and pushed it aside by keeping busy. She spent another day with her therapist crying because she did that randomly right now. The therapy was hard, facing up to the fact she killed someone in the line of duty to save a life. But the debriefing was ongoing. Euan had insisted on it until she could get out there without a fear of drawing her gun again.
So, there was therapy, and there was being pregnant, and there was now the fact her relationship was over when she wasn't even sure it started much in the first place. She was feeling lonely and didn't want to inflict her hormone-laden misery on anyone. She had the twelve week sonogram tomorrow, and she hoped Beau and Austin's reactions might put her in better spirits, but she wasn't so sure. What she was feeling right now was that she wanted to get away for awhile to clear her mind, but she couldn't because she had other people's baby inside her. When they had already suffered to much with a previous lost surrogacy attempt.
Not to mention she broke all her own rules and was actually wearing a onesie now. She promised herself she would never do that, but it gave her the ability to hide and wallow in her own self-pity. Sitting there eating crackers because her usually wallowing food of Ben & Jerry's made her nauseous, and she already spent way too many hours feeling that throughout the day. To top it all off, she was watching Beaches alone and crying like a baby again. It was just easy to go with the flow rather than try to make herself feel better. At least there was no one there to see her fall apart this time.
When the movie was done, she just shoved her box of crackers aside and gave up. She went to bed in her onesie and pulled the covers over her head. She was officially noping on everything for now.
angela ashwood
- original character -
Angela was about ready to give up on love indefinitely. It never seemed to work out when she tried it, and she was feeling a pile of things she couldn't quite identify within her yet. She was putting it down to pregnancy hormones and pushed it aside by keeping busy. She spent another day with her therapist crying because she did that randomly right now. The therapy was hard, facing up to the fact she killed someone in the line of duty to save a life. But the debriefing was ongoing. Euan had insisted on it until she could get out there without a fear of drawing her gun again.
So, there was therapy, and there was being pregnant, and there was now the fact her relationship was over when she wasn't even sure it started much in the first place. She was feeling lonely and didn't want to inflict her hormone-laden misery on anyone. She had the twelve week sonogram tomorrow, and she hoped Beau and Austin's reactions might put her in better spirits, but she wasn't so sure. What she was feeling right now was that she wanted to get away for awhile to clear her mind, but she couldn't because she had other people's baby inside her. When they had already suffered to much with a previous lost surrogacy attempt.
Not to mention she broke all her own rules and was actually wearing a onesie now. She promised herself she would never do that, but it gave her the ability to hide and wallow in her own self-pity. Sitting there eating crackers because her usually wallowing food of Ben & Jerry's made her nauseous, and she already spent way too many hours feeling that throughout the day. To top it all off, she was watching Beaches alone and crying like a baby again. It was just easy to go with the flow rather than try to make herself feel better. At least there was no one there to see her fall apart this time.
When the movie was done, she just shoved her box of crackers aside and gave up. She went to bed in her onesie and pulled the covers over her head. She was officially noping on everything for now.
- original character -