113.5. 10 things

[privateinvestigations]

Ten things that comfort you in hard times

1. Fucking
2. Hitting things
3. Shooting things
4. Booze
5. Weed
6. Hard rock
7. Smokes
8. Long drives in fast cars
9. Not talking to idiots
10. Extensively mocking dickheads

clint chevalier
original character

Comments

[privateinvestigations]

How about fucking no?

[imtoofabulous]

I want you to.

[privateinvestigations]

No, you don't. We had a deal.

[imtoofabulous]

That was before this happened. You're going to drop dead if you can't have a fuck.

[privateinvestigations]

I've got two fucking hands and a dildo, babe. It'll fucking take more than that to eradicate me from this world.

[imtoofabulous]

You've never gone longer than 6 hours without a fuck since you lost your virginity at, like 10 years old.

[privateinvestigations]

It was 12, and she fucking gave me chicken pox. I'm not fucking anyone else without you, babe.

[imtoofabulous]

I was dressed as a fucking Ninja Turtle and throwing a tanty that Em got more Halloween candy than me at 12. I want you to go out and get fucked. It'll help the stress.

[privateinvestigations]

Phwoar, smoking hot, babe. Can we recreate the superhero reptile fantasy when you're better? Not happening.

[imtoofabulous]

How old was the chick you lost your v-card to? Unless I can fucking naked, then no. Alright, I wanna talk to you about something, and I need you to be fucking real with me. What happens if I can't fuck like we used to?

[privateinvestigations]

She was 15. Daughter of a preacher. Still proud of myself for that. Her purity necklace didn't work, that's for sure. You mean, get it up? Have the same stamina?

[imtoofabulous]

I am not in the slightest bit surprised by this. Had trauma to abdominal aorta. Jesse told me me the nerves and blood supply to the cock are right beside the aorta and if there's damage, it might have caused issues. I asked them not to say anything to you about it because I wanted to talk to you myself.

[privateinvestigations]

I thought you didn't even want to know anything about the injuries. Fuck. But babe, we can still fuck. That's the beauty of two cocks and asses in the equation.

[imtoofabulous]

I asked about this, just not really this directly. Just if anything they've done might fuck my sex life up. You're fucking doing this whole commitment thing, and I don't know how to adjust to you being like this. So, I fucking take our deal back. Go out and fuck as much as you want.

[privateinvestigations]

That's not really new, you know. I've been fucking committed to you all along, we just didn't label it. No one fucking lived up to you. I'm not going out to fuck anyone. I'm staying here, with you, so you're not doing any of this alone.

[imtoofabulous]

At least go out and get your fucking cock sucked. You went down on Ange, it's just the same shit.

[privateinvestigations]

She was preggers and horny, I was helping her out. I thought you were okay with it.

[imtoofabulous]

I am okay with it. Keep doing it for her right through the pregnancy if you need to, I don't mind. I wasn't bullshitting you. Maybe she can return the favour.

[privateinvestigations]

It was a one-off, she doesn't want me down there long-term. Linc, are you for fucking real here? I don't want to get blown. That's the last thing on my fucking mind right now.

[imtoofabulous]

Maybe you can do it and I can watch. If they ever let me out of here.

[privateinvestigations]

You do realise I can still rim you, and fuck you, and do all that sort of shit WITH you, even if your cock doesn't work, right?

[imtoofabulous]

That's not going to satisfy you. You like taking it up the ass as much as you give it.

[privateinvestigations]

Why are you writing yourself off so soon, babe?

[imtoofabulous]

I don't know. Maybe it'll hurt less if I soften the blow now. I don't fucking know, but it's not looking good, is it?

[privateinvestigations]

I actually think it's looking really fucking good to what it was the day after the cunt stabbed you. Looking at whole lot better than when you were bleeding out while I was trying to give you CPR.