Damien Larson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
learnhowtoplay) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2016-04-04 02:00 pm
learnhowtoplay) wrote in muserevival2016-04-04 02:00 pm
Entry tags:
118.2 || Quote
"A friend is what the heart needs all the time." ~ Henry Van Dyke
If there was one thing that Damien could say about following his dream of being a rock star, it was that it was fucking hard work. Not that he'd ever doubted it would be. He'd come a long way since his days of playing the local bars for a living, and making a record in Lachie's studio, and yet he found that there were days that he missed those very things. This had been his dream, and in many ways, it still was, but there was something missing about it all. Maybe it was how it had all started... Maybe there was more to it than that, but he was living his dream only in part. Granted, he was hardly the star of the show. He was touring as an opening act, but the feedback had been good, and he was enjoying getting to play to packed out crowds, even if they weren't really there to see him, but to see one of Angel's label-mates, a hot, chart-topping artist named Colin Michaels, who played a similar style to Damien's, though not exactly the same. It was great exposure, and a great opportunity.
But the overarching feeling while he'd been on tour hadn't been excitement, but loneliness. He'd been on the road for the better part of a year now. It was a huge tour, one that took him to parts of the world he'd never imagined seeing, including Europe and Australia. But before he'd left, his relationship with Liam, while not quite a full-on break up, had ended up in a difficult place that had led to them deciding to take a break while Damien was on tour. It was the hardest decision that Damien had ever had to make, because he never wanted it in the first place. He and Liam were engaged, and he'd thought things were going well, until there began to be questions about what would happen if they got married, and Liam wasn't able to come to grips with his past and eventually move on to have sex with Damien. Still a virgin, Damien had assured him that sex didn't matter to him. They were intimate in other ways, and they had been beautiful in themselves as far as he was concerned, but for Liam, that answer hadn't been enough. He'd wanted Damien's word that, if Liam couldn't have sex with him, they'd get divorced and move on from each other, but that was a promise Damien couldn't make. He was in love... He'd put his heart and soul into this relationship with Liam, and he wasn't prepared to give up on it, or to step into marriage with the man that he loved already prepared to walk away from him.
Everything they had done together had been small steps of progress, and it had taken time. They'd been together for a long time without having sex... even gotten engaged and moved in together without it. It wasn't a pressing concern for Damien. What mattered to him was that Liam was there, and they had built something beautiful together... a trust that overcame so much hurt and trauma. And this break from Liam felt like his heart was breaking apart. Even after the better part of a year apart, Damien still found himself checking his left hand for his engagement ring, only to be hit with a sinking feeling all over again when it wasn't there. He'd given it back to Liam the day that they'd said goodbye, but made him promise to keep it safe, because a break and a break up weren't the same thing, and Damien didn't see them as over. He wasn't sure he ever could, no matter what might happen.
The songs he'd been writing lately had been tinged by his own loneliness and sense of loss. Everything gained required some form of loss. Damien knew that. He knew that being on tour would mean not being in New York, and missing Lachie and Tara and their two gorgeous little ones. It would mean missing his friends, missing Liam... Missing Liam, even after months apart, hadn't gotten any easier. It hurt like hell. It ached in a way that he hadn't been able to imagine anything else in the world hurting. He wasn't privy to Liam's private thoughts, but when he'd proposed to Damien, it had seemed like their future was so fucking bright. They were going to get married, and Liam had confessed to Damien that he wanted to one day be able to move past the pain of what had happened to him and make love to him and only him for the rest of his life.
It had seemed to change quickly, maybe because Damien was getting more excited about getting married, though he'd never meant to push Liam. He had to admit that, maybe he had. He'd watched two of his best friends wed the loves of their lives, and he wanted to share that with Liam. He loved him, and he wanted to be his husband. But at the end of the day, maybe it had been too much too soon, because now, they were apart, and maybe that wasn't just a temporary thing to find their feet again. Maybe it was overly optimistic to think so.
Optimism had always been Damien's way, though, and he wasn't prepared to give up on Liam and what they'd started together. He had high hopes of going back home and finding a way to work it all out. What he hadn't expected was a text from Max that would bring him home so much sooner than planned, to his beautiful best friend Rosie, who'd been diagnosed with cancer.
Damien Larson||Original Character
If there was one thing that Damien could say about following his dream of being a rock star, it was that it was fucking hard work. Not that he'd ever doubted it would be. He'd come a long way since his days of playing the local bars for a living, and making a record in Lachie's studio, and yet he found that there were days that he missed those very things. This had been his dream, and in many ways, it still was, but there was something missing about it all. Maybe it was how it had all started... Maybe there was more to it than that, but he was living his dream only in part. Granted, he was hardly the star of the show. He was touring as an opening act, but the feedback had been good, and he was enjoying getting to play to packed out crowds, even if they weren't really there to see him, but to see one of Angel's label-mates, a hot, chart-topping artist named Colin Michaels, who played a similar style to Damien's, though not exactly the same. It was great exposure, and a great opportunity.
But the overarching feeling while he'd been on tour hadn't been excitement, but loneliness. He'd been on the road for the better part of a year now. It was a huge tour, one that took him to parts of the world he'd never imagined seeing, including Europe and Australia. But before he'd left, his relationship with Liam, while not quite a full-on break up, had ended up in a difficult place that had led to them deciding to take a break while Damien was on tour. It was the hardest decision that Damien had ever had to make, because he never wanted it in the first place. He and Liam were engaged, and he'd thought things were going well, until there began to be questions about what would happen if they got married, and Liam wasn't able to come to grips with his past and eventually move on to have sex with Damien. Still a virgin, Damien had assured him that sex didn't matter to him. They were intimate in other ways, and they had been beautiful in themselves as far as he was concerned, but for Liam, that answer hadn't been enough. He'd wanted Damien's word that, if Liam couldn't have sex with him, they'd get divorced and move on from each other, but that was a promise Damien couldn't make. He was in love... He'd put his heart and soul into this relationship with Liam, and he wasn't prepared to give up on it, or to step into marriage with the man that he loved already prepared to walk away from him.
Everything they had done together had been small steps of progress, and it had taken time. They'd been together for a long time without having sex... even gotten engaged and moved in together without it. It wasn't a pressing concern for Damien. What mattered to him was that Liam was there, and they had built something beautiful together... a trust that overcame so much hurt and trauma. And this break from Liam felt like his heart was breaking apart. Even after the better part of a year apart, Damien still found himself checking his left hand for his engagement ring, only to be hit with a sinking feeling all over again when it wasn't there. He'd given it back to Liam the day that they'd said goodbye, but made him promise to keep it safe, because a break and a break up weren't the same thing, and Damien didn't see them as over. He wasn't sure he ever could, no matter what might happen.
The songs he'd been writing lately had been tinged by his own loneliness and sense of loss. Everything gained required some form of loss. Damien knew that. He knew that being on tour would mean not being in New York, and missing Lachie and Tara and their two gorgeous little ones. It would mean missing his friends, missing Liam... Missing Liam, even after months apart, hadn't gotten any easier. It hurt like hell. It ached in a way that he hadn't been able to imagine anything else in the world hurting. He wasn't privy to Liam's private thoughts, but when he'd proposed to Damien, it had seemed like their future was so fucking bright. They were going to get married, and Liam had confessed to Damien that he wanted to one day be able to move past the pain of what had happened to him and make love to him and only him for the rest of his life.
It had seemed to change quickly, maybe because Damien was getting more excited about getting married, though he'd never meant to push Liam. He had to admit that, maybe he had. He'd watched two of his best friends wed the loves of their lives, and he wanted to share that with Liam. He loved him, and he wanted to be his husband. But at the end of the day, maybe it had been too much too soon, because now, they were apart, and maybe that wasn't just a temporary thing to find their feet again. Maybe it was overly optimistic to think so.
Optimism had always been Damien's way, though, and he wasn't prepared to give up on Liam and what they'd started together. He had high hopes of going back home and finding a way to work it all out. What he hadn't expected was a text from Max that would bring him home so much sooner than planned, to his beautiful best friend Rosie, who'd been diagnosed with cancer.
Damien Larson||Original Character