120.5. Ten Things

[nothingelsematters]

Ten little things you love about life

1. Sloppy kisses from my beautiful little lady
2. Being called "dada"
3. Seeing my husband wearing his wedding ring
4. Family, and everything about them (this is a big thing, but IDGAF)
5. Slow, sweet sex
6. Dressing my baby girl in pink - fuck the haters on gender-neutral preaching agendas
7. Dipping Oreos in really hot, sweet coffee
8. Hugs and kisses
9. Flowers: giving, receiving, arranging
10. 5 O'Clock Shadow on my man

lorenzo chevalier
- original character -

Comments

[privateinvestigations]

You're such a fucking sap. How are we related?

[imtoofabulous]

Wait, she's talking now?

[americanskin]

You're so fucking adorable, I want to smoosh you. Stop making me freaking clucky.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

Tell that little nugget to stop growing so fast, because Auntie Em can't keep up.

[nothingelsematters]

You say that like I'm the one with the issues. You can't escape this shit now. You're married.

[nothingelsematters]

I can bring her over to showcase if it you like, bud. We didn't think you were up to visits from a wriggly one-year old who is trying to scale everything from coffee tables to legs to decorative ficuses.

[nothingelsematters]

Oooo, clucky, huh? Getting that turkey baster out again, love?

[nothingelsematters]

Aunty Em needs to learn toddler like a boss because it's fast approaching.

[americanskin]

Shut it, bitch. I don't need you cheering on my lingering preggo/birth hormones.

[imtoofabulous]

Can't someone just hold her while I see her? I didn't know she was talking. Are you going to tell me she's walking too?

[privateinvestigations]

Hey, that was so no one pulled the fucking plug on my other half without my say. I'm the one who would be developing a fucking booze addiction in my grief, I deserved that duty.

[nothingelsematters]

Angie wants a bay-bie! Angie wants to be a mom-mie! Angie will probably be a better mommy than a lot of cunts out there who should be locked up rather than have a baby in their care.

:P

[nothingelsematters]

Sure we can. Yes. Sort of. She is taking steps and falling on her butt a lot. Don't beat yourself up, Linc. There's plenty of video and pictures.

[nothingelsematters]

Bullshittery, kind sir.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

Auntie Em needs more time with her little angel princess to start learning.

OMG, she's going to be running all over the house wreaking havoc soon.

[americanskin]

Seconded. Far too many cunts out there who shouldn't have children, but child protective services can only do so much. Don't you tongue emoticon me, mister.

[imtoofabulous]

I'm sorry I missed so much. I'd really like to see her.

[privateinvestigations]

Shall I kindly fuck off on my horse of bullshittery to the kingdom of Far Far Away?

[nothingelsematters]

Fuck no. I'm not done mocking you yet.

[nothingelsematters]

Hey, you didn't miss as much as you think. We had her there visiting you most days when you were out of it. Want me to bring her by in the morning for a visit?

[nothingelsematters]

Reasons I needed to sacrifice everything to give my baby girl the world: that. Bitch, please. You're so full of estrogen, it's not funny. What's stopping you?

[nothingelsematters]

She's already trying. She just hasn't quite figured out how to navigate her feet attached to her. They're only there for pulling socks off.

[privateinvestigations]

Is that all I'm good for? Your convenient entertainment?

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

LOL! Some things never change. I bet anything she's one of those kiddos that will be trying to wear flip-flops when there's snow on the ground and driving you two crazy.

[americanskin]

You're one of the best daddies out there, Renz. Never change, you're doing everything right. I don't know! This has never been a thing. My uterus just knows that something was in there and now my heart wants to know where it's gone.

[imtoofabulous]

Shit, I seriously didn't even realise. Yeah, I'd really like that. I mean, I can't really handle having her trying to climb all over me, but I'd love to see her. See how she's growing.

[nothingelsematters]

Abso-fucking-lutely. You ain't learned that by now? That, and watching you wince when I force babysitting duty on you.

[nothingelsematters]

You were unconscious most of the time, or in uncontrollable pain a lot of the other. She was there, though. We all were. Don't worry, we'll keep a good hold on her. She's only just starting to be mobile and independent. She never crawled, she just did the rocking on her hands and knees, and rolled everywhere.

[nothingelsematters]

I like to think I at least make the top part of the ranks. I'm only alive for her. Her and Lew now. The rest y'all have got this. You are so a goner. You can't deny it.

[nothingelsematters]

Every time she realises it's her feet moving her, she looks at them and falls over. She's working on the multitasking skills.

[privateinvestigations]

You fucking mean bitch. Hey, I'm getting better with that. All other sprogs can sit down, but I'll take Hols. The way she screams when weird cunts come near her is my favourite thing.

[americanskin]

Top 1% of the ranks, thank you very much. I know, baby. You wouldn't be here if you didn't have to fight for her. She's worth it all. We asked Clitty for his jizz.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

OMG, I'm dying of the cuteness.

So... um... any suggestions for someone who wants to become a parent?

[nothingelsematters]

I know, fucking sue me. I've trained my bubba well. When weird cunts come on the radar, scream like fuck or defensive projectile vomit all over them.

[nothingelsematters]

N'aw, you're good for my ego, Angie ♥ You asked Clint for his jizz to make a baby.

BRB.

[nothingelsematters]

Try by using jizz that's not Clitty's?

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

'Fraid we're out of luck on that one. Angela and I both wanted it to be someone we know, and we also know that if you and Lew are jizzing in a cup, it's going to be to give Hols a brother or sister.

[nothingelsematters]

You know, picking someone you know isn't always the best option. That means that person has a kid walking right around under their nose all the time. There's no emotional separation. Lewis has the same feelings about biology as he does marriage, and you don't want me. I'm not cleared of the Hep C yet.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

Clitty doesn't want kids of his own, though, and I know that he'll always be there to protect us and the kid. Well, there's that, too. Clitty's just someone that we trust with all of our hearts, you know?

[nothingelsematters]

Nope, he's a protector, not paternal. That doesn't mean it isn't going to affect him having a kid with his genes walking around. Look how much he came around with Hols.