Tristain Lawrence Hewitt (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
everythingdesigner) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
muserevival2016-10-23 02:55 pm
everythingdesigner) wrote in muserevival2016-10-23 02:55 pm
Entry tags:
130.1 : lyrics
"It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again."
• Times Like These, Foo Fighters
It was no secret that Tristan had converted to Buddhism in the wake of his battle with bulimia during his modelling days. He had gotten to a place back then there he despised himself, and the world became this dark place. He wasn't proud of how far he sunk in those dark days. In recovery, it was Buddhism principles that helped pull him through above and beyond all else. Therapy did its part, but initially, he had relapsed even with therapy. Therapy wasn't always the answer, neither was throwing prescription medications at the problem. They didn't always work, and even if they did work, they didn't always work well. He knew he needed more. Much more.
In turning to Buddhism, he began to understand the concept of inner-peace, and began to yearn for it. He took himself away from the mainstream world to learn to live again. Before that, it had felt like he was dying a slow death. To be dying, you didn't have to have a terminal illness. You could simple me wasting away in darkness and misery, with your life having no meaning or quality. To Tristan, that was the same as dying.
Now, he practised his spiritual beliefs daily. He enjoyed all those 'airy fairy' things like yoga and meditation, because for him, they worked. They taught him to look at himself and love what he saw. He didn't look now and see an ugly monster beyond repair. It wasn't demons that stared back at him from a mirror anymore, it was simply his own reflection no longer shrouded in darkness. To manage that, he frequently departed the mainstream life to find a place of peace and quiet, to just be and appreciate his existence.
His beach house was the perfect place for that. It was driving distance from the City, so he would often come here on the weekends to reboot after a stressful week. Though in the last month, he hadn't been coming alone. Sitting there on the beach with his legs crossed, he was in a comfortable zone of meditation. Eyes closed, he listened to the water caressing the shore a stone's throw away from him. He could smell the sea air, and being a stretch of private beach, no strangers would interfere with his peace.
Then he felt someone sit behind him, strong arms wrapping around his waist and an tender kiss issued to the nape of his neck. With a smile, he opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder to his lover. The gorgeous talk, dark and handsome human being with blue eyes and a big dick. He had become part of Tristan's peaceful oasis in life. It felt like he belonged here, and Tristan could admit even just to himself that he wasn't sure he would ever find someone who fitted so well with him to enjoy a committed relationship.
"You were down for the count when I left you, my love," Tristan told him. "I nearly stayed there to enjoy the view of you sprawled naked on the bed snoozing with the Fall sunlight hitting all the right places. But then I would've jumped your bones again and I didn't want to disturb your sleep."
Caden laughed and caressed Tristan's bare abdomen with his fingertips. "You should've woken me. I never sleep in the day. Am I disturbing your Chakras?"
"Never," Tristan said, turning his head to give Caden a kiss. "You were relaxed. Nothing wrong with listening to what your body needs. We have all the time in the world out here. You need to learn to enjoy the peace."
"Is this before or after you take me down with your Karma Sutra skills?"
"Oh, we've only just scratched the surface on that, love," Tristan teased, smirking.
Caden was dropping a trail of light kisses over Tristan's shoulder, coming to nuzzle his ear. "Do you want me to leave you to it?"
Tristan laced their fingers together at his stomach, holding Caden close. "No, try it with me. Are you comfortable?"
"Very."
"Close your eyes. Feel my breathing. Breathe with me," Tristan guided, holding Caden's hand against his chest so he could feel the deep inhalations and exhalations. "Let everything from home fall away, tune in on here. What you're hearing, what you're feeling. Listen to the water, let yourself be aware of the breeze on your skin..."
That was the moment that he realised how poignant a moment this was for him. He had just invited someone else into his private arena of peace and self-awareness. That was huge, because up to now, it had been a very solitary thing for him. It hit him then how much Caden truly meant to him.
Something had shifted, and even if he didn't believe in the existence of permanency, he knew he was ready to go the distance with Caden, and invite him closer to share everything with him that brought them to this one single moment where something had changed. For the better. He wasn't just content, he was happy.
tristan hewitt : original character
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again."
• Times Like These, Foo Fighters
It was no secret that Tristan had converted to Buddhism in the wake of his battle with bulimia during his modelling days. He had gotten to a place back then there he despised himself, and the world became this dark place. He wasn't proud of how far he sunk in those dark days. In recovery, it was Buddhism principles that helped pull him through above and beyond all else. Therapy did its part, but initially, he had relapsed even with therapy. Therapy wasn't always the answer, neither was throwing prescription medications at the problem. They didn't always work, and even if they did work, they didn't always work well. He knew he needed more. Much more.
In turning to Buddhism, he began to understand the concept of inner-peace, and began to yearn for it. He took himself away from the mainstream world to learn to live again. Before that, it had felt like he was dying a slow death. To be dying, you didn't have to have a terminal illness. You could simple me wasting away in darkness and misery, with your life having no meaning or quality. To Tristan, that was the same as dying.
Now, he practised his spiritual beliefs daily. He enjoyed all those 'airy fairy' things like yoga and meditation, because for him, they worked. They taught him to look at himself and love what he saw. He didn't look now and see an ugly monster beyond repair. It wasn't demons that stared back at him from a mirror anymore, it was simply his own reflection no longer shrouded in darkness. To manage that, he frequently departed the mainstream life to find a place of peace and quiet, to just be and appreciate his existence.
His beach house was the perfect place for that. It was driving distance from the City, so he would often come here on the weekends to reboot after a stressful week. Though in the last month, he hadn't been coming alone. Sitting there on the beach with his legs crossed, he was in a comfortable zone of meditation. Eyes closed, he listened to the water caressing the shore a stone's throw away from him. He could smell the sea air, and being a stretch of private beach, no strangers would interfere with his peace.
Then he felt someone sit behind him, strong arms wrapping around his waist and an tender kiss issued to the nape of his neck. With a smile, he opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder to his lover. The gorgeous talk, dark and handsome human being with blue eyes and a big dick. He had become part of Tristan's peaceful oasis in life. It felt like he belonged here, and Tristan could admit even just to himself that he wasn't sure he would ever find someone who fitted so well with him to enjoy a committed relationship.
"You were down for the count when I left you, my love," Tristan told him. "I nearly stayed there to enjoy the view of you sprawled naked on the bed snoozing with the Fall sunlight hitting all the right places. But then I would've jumped your bones again and I didn't want to disturb your sleep."
Caden laughed and caressed Tristan's bare abdomen with his fingertips. "You should've woken me. I never sleep in the day. Am I disturbing your Chakras?"
"Never," Tristan said, turning his head to give Caden a kiss. "You were relaxed. Nothing wrong with listening to what your body needs. We have all the time in the world out here. You need to learn to enjoy the peace."
"Is this before or after you take me down with your Karma Sutra skills?"
"Oh, we've only just scratched the surface on that, love," Tristan teased, smirking.
Caden was dropping a trail of light kisses over Tristan's shoulder, coming to nuzzle his ear. "Do you want me to leave you to it?"
Tristan laced their fingers together at his stomach, holding Caden close. "No, try it with me. Are you comfortable?"
"Very."
"Close your eyes. Feel my breathing. Breathe with me," Tristan guided, holding Caden's hand against his chest so he could feel the deep inhalations and exhalations. "Let everything from home fall away, tune in on here. What you're hearing, what you're feeling. Listen to the water, let yourself be aware of the breeze on your skin..."
That was the moment that he realised how poignant a moment this was for him. He had just invited someone else into his private arena of peace and self-awareness. That was huge, because up to now, it had been a very solitary thing for him. It hit him then how much Caden truly meant to him.
Something had shifted, and even if he didn't believe in the existence of permanency, he knew he was ready to go the distance with Caden, and invite him closer to share everything with him that brought them to this one single moment where something had changed. For the better. He wasn't just content, he was happy.