134.5. Ten Things

[lovesguinness]

Ten dirty little secrets about you

1. I'm a closeted lesbian
2. I fucked a nun
3. And took a slash in their Holy Water
4. I'm a fuckin' serial killer in m'spare time
5. I deliberately leave pubes on the soap t'shit ya' off
6. I fuckin' double-dip those Doritos. Every fuckin' time.
7. Golden showers are me fave kink
8. I have orgies with grannies
9. I like askin' fashionistas what Walmart they got their shoes from
10. I've shot a bloke's dick off

Euan Fitzpatrick (Original Character)

Comments

[aussielawyer]

I didn't realise how much I needed to laugh until I read this, mate.

[lovesguinness]

Glad t'be of service, bud. How are ya' and the kid holdin' up?

[aussielawyer]

A bit better. It was touch and go there for awhile. Had some shitty curve balls thrown at us. How's your family?

[lovesguinness]

He had a few attempts in quick succession, aye? It ain't easy, buddy. Fearin' ya' kid's gonna beat ya' int'a grave is horrific. Hangin' in there. Bairns are goin' great guns, Noah's still just tryin' t'fight. I just dunno if he's gonna make it.

[aussielawyer]

Yeah, none of us were careful enough with not triggering his fight or flight. There was the bridge, the beach, and then he ran in front of a car. We need to be more vigilant with how we deal with things, and open and honest with him. My brother noticed he will engage better with you if you give him the chance to listen and understand. How are you liking being a dad to a little girl? Whole different ball game, huh? Fuck, that poor kid. He did so bloody well cleaning up too.

[lovesguinness]

Fuckin' hell, mate. Ya' nerves must be fuckin' shot. He's a good kid, though. Ya' doing real well, all things considered. Oh, fuck, I'm already 'bout ready t'stock up on mass firearms t'shoot any cunts who try t'hurt her. Hope she's cool with a rough bastard like me bein' her dad. Aye, he did. Proud o'him t'no end. I think he's had cunts come after him for past debts. I couldn't see any signs he was usin' again before this happened.

[aussielawyer]

Too fucking right. It has led to some fucked up issues all around. Gen and I are separating. We need to sort ourselves out for Justin and then think about whether we want to get back on track again. Hit me up if you need any, I've been collecting since Jamie was born. Luckily, she has a big brother who will murder for her, if necessary, too. You're a great dad. Case in point. Have they talked to you about switching off?