the_cataclysm: (Party Boy)
Nick Porter [OC] ([personal profile] the_cataclysm) wrote in [community profile] muserevival2013-11-21 07:22 pm

prompt 43.1: Muse prompts

"Stop digging your own grave,
When there's so much to live for."
(Choose Your Battles, Katy Perry)




There were moment’s in Nick’s life when he thought he was facing the end of it. Some of those times by his own hand, some by others. Sometimes the latter, made him wish for the former. It was on and off like this for years and years, more often than not. When he was younger, he thought maybe it was normal to feel that way, but as he grew, he realized he got the raw end of a whole lot of deals and things would probably never change. Still, he always managed to push on. He always managed to fend off the bullies, or his father. Those were the only times he was glad his mother wasn’t alive to see this, because he knew that even if she was still around, this part would have been the same. He wondered how disappointed she would have been in him, in the world. Probably as disappointed as he was, with both of those things.

Mostly he was disappointed that he’d even consider such a selfish thing, when there were other people he had to think about. He knew his brother and sister were counting on him, yet he always stepped right up to that threshold. When others tried to take him, he’d fight back, because no one was allowed to hurt him but himself. No one else was allowed to make him feel worthless, yet they always did. Selfish, worthless and defensive were his three worst qualities. He always said he was the very best at them. To this day, it was still hard to let go of those things, even when they made things so much harder. Stubborn was another one of those qualities and that one was probably always there to stay.

The last time he tried to give up was the day he found all his mother’s old drawings. He was looking for the gun his father kept in the basement and instead he found the old beat up chest. He found a dream he had thought he lost and he couldn’t stop crying. He couldn’t stop crying, but all thoughts of anything else were gone. He was determined now. Determined to pull himself out of this mess of a life and into something better. He could either die here, or move forward, press on and take back the life he was meant to live, no matter how many bumps there were on the way.

He knew that there were things he did, to this day, that his mother certainly wouldn’t be proud of, but at least he had started to pull himself out of that grave and threw himself back into living. Dying was no longer any kind of option. People everywhere, all over the world got all kinds of raw deals and a lot of the time that was it, they’d fail. But not always, and not him. Nick was nowhere near the end of it.

Nick Porter
Original Character
510 Words