likefatherlikeson: (035)
Justin Mark Campbell ([personal profile] likefatherlikeson) wrote in [community profile] muserevival2016-12-06 09:51 am

133.5. Ten Things

Ten hopes for the future

1. To still be able to perform until I'm dead
2. My dad to get his mojo back
3. My little sister not to fall in love with someone I have to punch
4. Keep doing as much for my chosen charities as possible
5. My illness to stabilise some day
6. To be stronger than my past traumas
7. To find my soul mate to wake up with every day
8. For the suicidal feelings to leave me
9. My family and friends to be happy
10. Peace

Justin Campbell
Original Character
beautifulday: (022)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-05 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Can I just say thank you for being so amazing? You've made my year.
beautifulday: (005)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-06 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
I was so sure you would just, like, have an hour with me to be nice, and then have a pile of other stuff you needed to get to.
beautifulday: (021)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-06 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, really? There I was thinking you were an epic bastard. Hang on... you came back from Australia for this? I thought you were already back!
beautifulday: (083)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-06 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
People are so dumb they actually think that? Have they not heard of Google? I found plenty about your illness when I went looking this morning. Justin, fuck. You didn't have to do that. It was just a wild stab in the dark for Andi. She's sort of devil-may-care now. What's she got to lose and all that.
beautifulday: (012)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-06 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
I did, yeah. I wanted to learn about it, to understand. It's just hard. Knowing her time is running out, and trying to do as much for as I can, but I also help Mom care for Dad, so it's been... hard. I'm sorry, though. I know stuff has been hard for you too, and I wouldn't have agreed if I knew you had to come all the way back for it.
beautifulday: (030)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-06 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
Ignorance is the root of all evil. The last thing I would want to do is assume I know anything about you, but I can at least understand the basics of the illness. I don't want to lay that on her. It's not her fault she's running out of time. I can't decide if the rainbow angel or the glitter Rudolph nose was the funniest.
beautifulday: (073)

[personal profile] beautifulday 2016-12-06 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
No, but it scared me for you. Life must be hard with your emotions scrambled like that. I don't want to tell you to piss off. Truth of the matter is, I haven't talked to anyone about this stuff. Not even Andi. Um, I was more purposefully discreetly avoiding that part.

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valuetosurvival: (021)

[personal profile] valuetosurvival 2016-12-06 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
You're already stronger than your past traumas, Justin. You haven't overcome them, but you're strong enough to get there someday.
valuetosurvival: (078)

[personal profile] valuetosurvival 2016-12-06 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
I really think you're stronger than you believe you are. Or you wouldn't still be here. You literally stand up and perform on days when your whole world is bottoming out from under you. That's strength, love.
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[personal profile] valuetosurvival 2016-12-07 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
I guess not being able to see it from where you see it gives a different perspective, but you're right. It isn't my call to make. I can't speak for you. It just blows my mind the things you manage to overcome. And it makes me really proud to know you.
valuetosurvival: (047)

[personal profile] valuetosurvival 2016-12-08 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think you've magically overcome all the things. That's not what I meant. And I don't want you to just bow to whatever I say or pretend that everything is magically better when it's not. I just think... Forget it. It doesn't matter what I think. It's your life and your struggles and no one, no matter how much they love you or how aware they are of your struggles, has a right to say how you deal with them. I'm sorry. I didn't have a right. I don't want it to be easy. Nothing in life worth having is easy. I don't know how to fix this, Justin. But I know that I want to if there's a way.
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[personal profile] valuetosurvival 2016-12-08 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
I know. I broke my promise. I didn't mean to do it, but that doesn't change that I did. I want to do what's right, and I want us to share our lives. We used to be so good at it, too. I want to promise you that I'll get it right this time, but fuck... My promises aren't worth very much to you right now. I love you, but I'm not stupid enough to think that loving you is enough to make everything right again.
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[personal profile] valuetosurvival 2016-12-08 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
I do. I know that what's right is being there for the people you love when they need you. It's not running away when things get hard. It's not hiding from the responsibilities that come with loving someone. It's being steady and supportive and loving whenever they need you. What's right is checking on your boyfriend when he's not feeling well, and his uncle is ill and his parents are splitting. All of those things are right. And I... I don't think it was ever being lost so much as just losing my grip on everything going on in my life and prioritizing badly. I wasn't lost so much as just really fucked in my priorities. And then I panicked and made everything about a million times worse.

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